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difficult child's bring out their best for the holiday.
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<blockquote data-quote="tishthedish" data-source="post: 640897" data-attributes="member: 17103"><p>MWM, thanks for your reply. I am laughing and that is good because of your suggestion of Match.com. Hubby of 33 years might object! difficult child 1 is ill and the cycling you mention makes sense. Another thing is that his release date in early 2015 is looming. I think he is feeling the pressure of having no where to go. He knows he cannot come here. It was just so nice to have a respite of a few months of conversing with him normally. I miss the person he used to be. As far as the religion stuff, I don't debate anything with anybody. I respect everyones' opinion and choices for their own lives. A higher power of one's understanding as Al-Anon puts it. When he starts in on theory or doctrine it's delivered like a barrage of machine gun fire, intended to mow you down. I don't object to the ideas at all, just to the delivery. And since we know we aren't going to change each other's minds, can't we talk about something else? I guess this conversation just took me back to when he was less well and I was such a mess. The fact that he can get so strident and indignant over a gentle assertion made by me lifts the curtain on what is to come. I had hope. I have less after that conversation. I did hand the phone back to his Dad and his dad heard his nasty goodbye. I just can't listen to that crap anymore.</p><p></p><p>As for difficult child 2 he is trying. He is working full time. The baby mama, she signed over all parental rights for their son to difficult child 2. He has his special needs son 24/7, so we are trying to help. It's just whatever we do is never enough. As for the money thing, I didn't give him $, I bought the vitamins, snowpants, Christmas outfit, socks, underwear, new bedding for the crib, yes all things for the baby he can't afford, but if he can afford to make loans and gifts of money why ask for ours? We always find out about this foolish spending after the fact. It's about 30 degrees where we live today. He pulls up in the car, gets out to drop off more laundry inside, leaves the car door open with grandson in the car. Grandson is wearing a short sleeve T-shirt. I ask difficult child 2, where is the child's coat? "Oh he doesn't need one in the car." I said you're wearing the one I got you. He says it's warm enough in the car for the baby. So I said, are you taking your coat off when you get in the car too? I bought 2 coats so when one is being washed one can be used. And the babe has a cold as well. </p><p></p><p>There are some things I've learned though. We are going away to FL for a week. Our niece is dog sitting and has strict instructions not to let difficult child 2 in. My husband handles any calls that come in from home. An emergency to difficult child 2 is not knowing the right temperature to bake chicken nuggets.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully, because I have been doing some self-work I will bounce back faster. I'll keep you posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tishthedish, post: 640897, member: 17103"] MWM, thanks for your reply. I am laughing and that is good because of your suggestion of Match.com. Hubby of 33 years might object! difficult child 1 is ill and the cycling you mention makes sense. Another thing is that his release date in early 2015 is looming. I think he is feeling the pressure of having no where to go. He knows he cannot come here. It was just so nice to have a respite of a few months of conversing with him normally. I miss the person he used to be. As far as the religion stuff, I don't debate anything with anybody. I respect everyones' opinion and choices for their own lives. A higher power of one's understanding as Al-Anon puts it. When he starts in on theory or doctrine it's delivered like a barrage of machine gun fire, intended to mow you down. I don't object to the ideas at all, just to the delivery. And since we know we aren't going to change each other's minds, can't we talk about something else? I guess this conversation just took me back to when he was less well and I was such a mess. The fact that he can get so strident and indignant over a gentle assertion made by me lifts the curtain on what is to come. I had hope. I have less after that conversation. I did hand the phone back to his Dad and his dad heard his nasty goodbye. I just can't listen to that crap anymore. As for difficult child 2 he is trying. He is working full time. The baby mama, she signed over all parental rights for their son to difficult child 2. He has his special needs son 24/7, so we are trying to help. It's just whatever we do is never enough. As for the money thing, I didn't give him $, I bought the vitamins, snowpants, Christmas outfit, socks, underwear, new bedding for the crib, yes all things for the baby he can't afford, but if he can afford to make loans and gifts of money why ask for ours? We always find out about this foolish spending after the fact. It's about 30 degrees where we live today. He pulls up in the car, gets out to drop off more laundry inside, leaves the car door open with grandson in the car. Grandson is wearing a short sleeve T-shirt. I ask difficult child 2, where is the child's coat? "Oh he doesn't need one in the car." I said you're wearing the one I got you. He says it's warm enough in the car for the baby. So I said, are you taking your coat off when you get in the car too? I bought 2 coats so when one is being washed one can be used. And the babe has a cold as well. There are some things I've learned though. We are going away to FL for a week. Our niece is dog sitting and has strict instructions not to let difficult child 2 in. My husband handles any calls that come in from home. An emergency to difficult child 2 is not knowing the right temperature to bake chicken nuggets. Hopefully, because I have been doing some self-work I will bounce back faster. I'll keep you posted. [/QUOTE]
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