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difficult child's current upward swing will soon turn 5 months - that is a long time for him
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 628219" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Thank you for the well and good luck wishes. These upswings are nice, even though we have been through too many of them to believe they would last.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It indeed is nice to have him home especially after he spent most of the last season abroad. And when we all know it is temporary. At the end of July he is out again. Knowing that help a lot when we have to stand all those small irritations that come from too adult and too independent child living at home, and I mean both sides. He is also good at taking off regularly, so it doesn't get too much. He spends a weekend there, few days or week here, comes and goes and so on. Friends summer cottages or flats, new girlfriend college town, or visiting her parents or her summer internship town, fishing with his mentor or just visiting him and training with him and so on. Gives us all room to breath.</p><p></p><p>And having extra pair of hands around can be useful. Like when sister in law got really, really ill the worst time, middle of busiest spring work and few days before the week long heavy rains were forecasted to come. It would had been at least two weeks delay and organic farmer t6his north really can't afford that. Our summer is so short. father in law was already helping as much as he could, husband was busy at work and I really don't handle farming machinery that well. difficult child worked with father in law three 16 to 20 hour days and they got everything sowed 3.30 a.m. when rains started around 9 a.m. that morning. Huge deal for sister in law.</p><p></p><p>And it is also good to see how difficult child's and Joy's relationship evolves. They are in that point where their age differences is quickly disappearing. Three years is a lot when you are one and four or even 12 and 15, but when you are around 20 it starts to lose it's meaning and will basically disappear when they hit their thirties. We have been lucky that their relationship has never been bad really. And during last few years what problems they have had, have been more about Joy having difficulty to adjust his views after being so used to be the golden boy of the family and difficult child always being the screw-up. There has been slight changes in that dynamic when they have grown older and instead of being judged solely by behaviour, hard work, niceness or 'sportmanship', focus has moved to take into an account also the actual skills and achievements. With that Joy has learned there are some things both in school and in sports were difficult child outshines him and that was a tough adjustment for him and he took some of it out to G FG . But they are getting over also those issues and I have to say I'm happy what kind of brothers they are.</p><p></p><p>So it really is nice to have him here.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Surgery went well and that is the main thing. And that they got whole tumour out and it is not malign. There has been some issues with the wound and I was given antibiotics that wreck the havoc with my stomach. And you don't want to know anything more <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> However I'm recovering and I will be fine. That is enough. Getting frustrated with still having to wait some while before I get back to running though. Since the original accident I have mostly just deep water run, ridden exercise bike and done some gym. And while excellent exercise, I really, really miss running. My body may well get what it needs from those other exercise methods, but my mind certainly isn't. Running is the most important anxiety management tool and not having that simply sucks.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And not just cushion for me, but these good times give difficult child opportunity to actually work with his lacking skills. I doubt much can be achieved when he is having tough time in learning new. And maybe some day those new skills will be enough to prevent or at least make those downward swings less steep.</p><p></p><p>Last three down points have been bad. Not sleeping, anxiety escalating to breakdowns and panic attacks after games year and half ago; then those awful, awful weeks little over year ago, when he didn't speak nor looked at anyone and I wasn't sure if he could still find his will to go on; and this latest, though with less warning beforehand, a suicide attempt, even though he decided mid fly he didn't want to die nor can he still explain, how he decided to fall from that bridge in the first place (he says he was playing with an idea of how it could all end there while standing on that rail and then somehow the next thing he remembers was that he was falling.)</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if I can take the next one, if they don't get better.</p><p></p><p>And I'm realist enough to know, there will be a new down swing. Summer is easy, but when the sress starts to accumulate and things start to fall on him... He really needs to learn to handle it. His dumb luck will not last forever.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 628219, member: 14557"] Thank you for the well and good luck wishes. These upswings are nice, even though we have been through too many of them to believe they would last. It indeed is nice to have him home especially after he spent most of the last season abroad. And when we all know it is temporary. At the end of July he is out again. Knowing that help a lot when we have to stand all those small irritations that come from too adult and too independent child living at home, and I mean both sides. He is also good at taking off regularly, so it doesn't get too much. He spends a weekend there, few days or week here, comes and goes and so on. Friends summer cottages or flats, new girlfriend college town, or visiting her parents or her summer internship town, fishing with his mentor or just visiting him and training with him and so on. Gives us all room to breath. And having extra pair of hands around can be useful. Like when sister in law got really, really ill the worst time, middle of busiest spring work and few days before the week long heavy rains were forecasted to come. It would had been at least two weeks delay and organic farmer t6his north really can't afford that. Our summer is so short. father in law was already helping as much as he could, husband was busy at work and I really don't handle farming machinery that well. difficult child worked with father in law three 16 to 20 hour days and they got everything sowed 3.30 a.m. when rains started around 9 a.m. that morning. Huge deal for sister in law. And it is also good to see how difficult child's and Joy's relationship evolves. They are in that point where their age differences is quickly disappearing. Three years is a lot when you are one and four or even 12 and 15, but when you are around 20 it starts to lose it's meaning and will basically disappear when they hit their thirties. We have been lucky that their relationship has never been bad really. And during last few years what problems they have had, have been more about Joy having difficulty to adjust his views after being so used to be the golden boy of the family and difficult child always being the screw-up. There has been slight changes in that dynamic when they have grown older and instead of being judged solely by behaviour, hard work, niceness or 'sportmanship', focus has moved to take into an account also the actual skills and achievements. With that Joy has learned there are some things both in school and in sports were difficult child outshines him and that was a tough adjustment for him and he took some of it out to G FG . But they are getting over also those issues and I have to say I'm happy what kind of brothers they are. So it really is nice to have him here. Surgery went well and that is the main thing. And that they got whole tumour out and it is not malign. There has been some issues with the wound and I was given antibiotics that wreck the havoc with my stomach. And you don't want to know anything more ;) However I'm recovering and I will be fine. That is enough. Getting frustrated with still having to wait some while before I get back to running though. Since the original accident I have mostly just deep water run, ridden exercise bike and done some gym. And while excellent exercise, I really, really miss running. My body may well get what it needs from those other exercise methods, but my mind certainly isn't. Running is the most important anxiety management tool and not having that simply sucks. And not just cushion for me, but these good times give difficult child opportunity to actually work with his lacking skills. I doubt much can be achieved when he is having tough time in learning new. And maybe some day those new skills will be enough to prevent or at least make those downward swings less steep. Last three down points have been bad. Not sleeping, anxiety escalating to breakdowns and panic attacks after games year and half ago; then those awful, awful weeks little over year ago, when he didn't speak nor looked at anyone and I wasn't sure if he could still find his will to go on; and this latest, though with less warning beforehand, a suicide attempt, even though he decided mid fly he didn't want to die nor can he still explain, how he decided to fall from that bridge in the first place (he says he was playing with an idea of how it could all end there while standing on that rail and then somehow the next thing he remembers was that he was falling.) I'm not sure if I can take the next one, if they don't get better. And I'm realist enough to know, there will be a new down swing. Summer is easy, but when the sress starts to accumulate and things start to fall on him... He really needs to learn to handle it. His dumb luck will not last forever. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's current upward swing will soon turn 5 months - that is a long time for him
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