difficult child's hair

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by 'Chelle, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    :surprise: my difficult child now looks exactly like THIS :hairy: He has informed me he's not going to cut his hair for all 4 years of high school, nope not even a trim or whatever to give it some style. I've always said I wouldn't sweat the small stuff, like hair, but I wonder what happened to my boy who liked to be neat and get his hair cut. :sad-very: He's turned into a shaggy haired, baggy clothed, grunting TEENAGER. LOL This is just temporary, right?
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    At least until a girl tells him she wants to kiss his lips, not his hair. Yeah, they grow out of it ... usually.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I was always told the teen years are G*d's way of making us WANT to get rid of them. lol

    MB's probably right. He'll stick with it til some girl wants him to change. Then you'll probably be wishing you were still just dealing with shaggy-baggy! lol
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Some girl will tell him he needs a trim. He'll get it taken care of at that point.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Our school district has a dress code, so the guys have to keep their hair no longer than halfway down a standard shirt collar, and their ears have to show. For the young ladies, no extreme hairstyles, and no colors not found in nature. We've had only one dress code violation so far this year (knock on wood) for pink hair...but now Miss KT wants black hair with aqua streaks in it. The boyfriends have a great deal of influence on her style...she's now wearing red eyeshadow and a bandana for a headband. I told her she looked like an albino Bruce Springsteen. All together now..."Boooooorn in the USA..."
  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Pretty scary living with a teen. This is one of those things you put in a basket C. When he gets negative comments from his peers he will change his tune.
    I wouldn't argue or make it an issue. If he wants to look sloppy, no skin off your nose. You take care of your hair.
    The less you notice it the less allure it will have for him. If he makes a comment just say, "how nice" and move on. It will just kill you on the inside to not grab that hair and cut it with scissors. It would kill me too.
    He will suffer the consequences of not getting a job so no driver's license. You shouldn't do a thing.
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Well, they beat me to it...until a girl comes along.
  8. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    LOL I was just thinking that the hair will last until someone tell him it looks nasty. (Assuming his hygeine leaves some to be desired)

    But you're right....it's just hair. I came home one day to find that difficult child had shaved his own head.

    With a disposable razor.

    And then there was that whole Kool-aid fiasco.

  9. So Tired

    So Tired Member

    Oh how I wish mine's hair was just long! He first dyed it black (looked like Jack White of White Stripes) and now he has dyed it platinumblonde! YES PLATINUM! It is about shoulder length. I told him he looks like Anna Nicole Smith! And, oh yeah, did I mention the lip piercings? I believe they are called "snake bites" (Those got him kicked out of the house for a few days)

    Although I think he looks ridiculous, it is not my major battle with him, so I save my strength for those. The others are right, try not to let it get to you. I know that it is hard though because you feel his appearance is somehow a reflection on you. I know it is very hard for me to not be angry with my difficult child just because I think his piercings and lack of hygine are revolting! Glad I'm not his girlfriend!! I don't know how she stands it.

    I say, make sure you take a lot of pictures to embaress him with later on in life!!
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am with ya.
    My difficult children hair looks like a rat's nest. It's long, curly, almost in dreds in places. Whatever.
    Funny thing is that at my sister's memorial everyone told him how awesome it looked. Were they Kidding? I mean, he washed it, (big improvement) and it is curly and perhaps, if styled, could be cool - but now, after those accolades, he will never cut it.:tongue:
    Again, basket C.
    But you know what - it is just one of those things that grates on you in the deep hours of the night, isn't it?
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I've been chuckling all the way through this! Mine always had his short- until about 3 mos ago when he decided he wanted to grow it long. UH-UH. Not the biggest problem here, so I said ok. He doesn't wash his hair often enough or very well when he does (sound familiar?). And, with his hair type, it stands straight up and out and every which way in the mornings and probably wouldn't lay down even if he tried to comb it, which he doesn't. I haven't said a word- other than an occassional "Are you SURE that's what you want?" So, last week he comes to me, scratching his head- literally- and says emphatically, "I HAVE to get a hair cut, I CAN'T TAKE THIS anymore." So, I say, well, I'll put it on the list of things to do and take you as soon as I have a chance. Of course, I haven't had a chance yet. :)
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    On our wall we have a lovely professionally-done photo of our four kids, all groomed well as if going to a wedding. difficult child 1's hair is crewcut and he looks great. I remember I buzz-cut his hair the day before. It was the last time I cut his hair. Or anyone.

    Since then he's bleached it (I helped, because that was better than having him do himself an injury); he's dyed it sky-blue, which then faded and on top of the brassy bleach, it looked GREEN; the dye came off all over his bedding (thankfully it eventually washed out).

    We have set rules - common sense ones. He can grow his hair but he MUST look after it. This means washing it regularly, keeping it brushed and tying it back when he's working with machinery or cooking.

    The consequences of not doing these things - failure to wash hair means massive pimples breakout on his face and back. It also means it looks awful and girls will avoid him. Failure to tie it back means I will yell at him for breach of household safety regulations. He's also learned to keep it tidy enough to avoid getting knots in it.

    We found a product for getting knots out. it's also a preventive - Fructis smooth & sleek serum. It comes in a green ball with a pump dispenser, which dispenses far more than you need. I get difficult child 1 to spread a drop of this over his hair brush, and if the knots are small, by the third pass of the brush they're just about gone. difficult child 1 will use this, he got his girlfriend onto using it too!

    The long fingernails were another worry, especially when he didn't clean them. Frankly, he's been looking like a vampire, with the long hair, long dirty nails and wearing faded and worn black clothes. Then he tried to get a job through an agency and they smartened him up fast. They let him keep the hair if he keeps it tied back.

    Fran is right - Basket C. But safety and health is important, so we make him comply at least there.

  13. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Yep, basket C.:D My easy child had buzz cuts & short hair up until this year. He hit 7th grade & went on strike....I offered him barettes & ponytail holders a few times. BUT, realized the more I joked around about it or made comments....he was gonna let it grow to the floor. He finally got a bit tired of it when he was in basketball 6 days a week & couldn't see very well at all (along with all the extra sweat, yuk). He asked for a "trim". :laughing: Well, basketball is over.....hair is growing longer again. BUT, baseball is starting up.....hopefully the boy will have trouble seeing with batting helments, baseball hat & catcher's gear on! That's what I'm secretly hoping for!! LOL! by the way.....all of the boys his age around here have long hair & the girls don't seem to mind. Pretty long phase going on.
  14. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Thanks all. I guess that is one saving grace, he does keep it clean. He went through puberty early compared to his friends, and I think he realized he doesn't like the smell of himself when he's unshowered, actually asks for more deodorant himself when he's running low. I do know his friends will never say anything about it, his best friends have had practically shaved head, dyed dull black, mohawk, dyed blue mohawk LOL. I guess I can deal with long, it could be worse. Every time I take easy child for a trim I ask if he wants to go and he says no. Guess I'll quit asking since yeah, I think he likes that I ask. I don't know if anyone has seen/remembers a movie called Little Nicky with Adam Sandler, difficult child loves that movie. I looked over at him in the car a while ago and said to him :surprise: you look just like Little Nicky, without the goofy mouth part. I think he was pleased with that thought. :huh: LOL
  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I confess, I was a teenage hair-monster.

    At different times my hair was jet black, plum purple, navy blue, and worst of all, platinum blonde stripes. I had a mohawk, shaved a checkerboard into the sides and back, shaved my whole head except for long bangs at the front...you get the idea.

    I agree with everyone who has said not to comment. I like Marg's suggestions about having rules to do with safety, and natural consequences for everything else.

    At some point, someone that your son is trying to impress (girlfriend, potential or actual boss, friends) will say something that convinces him it's time for a hair cut. Until then, I suggest that you sit on your lips, no matter how much you want to comment.

    (For the record, my current hairstyle is a VERY conservative shoulder-length bob in my natural hair colour. They DO grow out of it, eventually)

  16. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm guessing a Cyndi Lauper fan?? LOL
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    My easy child's boyfriend had hair like that, but curly. He shaved his head--yes, shaved it!--for a cancer comrade at school. It was some kind of fundraiser. Everyone hated the bald look more but no one dared criticize him. He's a JR now and his hair is about as normal as it will ever be. So there's hope!
  18. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Indeed I was. Her and every punk rock band going at the time. I even had a collection of those lace fingerless gloves, and haunted the local thrift stores in search of vintage prom dresses that I could modify and wear with combat boots and torn tights.

    If my co-workers or, heaven forbid, my children!!! ever got hold of old pictures of me, I would be in SERIOUS trouble.

    Strange thing is, I'm starting to see a lot of the local teenagers dressing the way I used to in high school. Sigh...the 80's were such a fashion disaster, I was hoping we'd skip the revival.
  19. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    A rehab doctor I know has to get nervous when I pull out the photo album - when we were uni students together, our drama group put on a production of "Sweet Charity" - in drag. He looked great as Marilyn Monroe! And since husband was the company photographer at the time, I have loads of blackmail material, not only on him but on a few other performers, people now professionally in the entertainment industry, who probably are desperately trying to forget!

    The things we do in our youth...

  20. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    It was the checkerboard pattern that tipped me off! LOL I would LOVE to see pictures of that!