difficult child's iep was today

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, May 27, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We had difficult child's IEP meeting today. Due to the fact that we already did the BIP in April, the meeting went well.

    A spec. ed teacher from the school he will be at next year was there which I was glad about so they have an idea of difficult child next year.

    They did a good job of documenting his present level and we set what I think will be good goals.

    The only sad part is realizing how really low academically he is. He is only at a first grade reading and math level. Writing is about the same. Even when he tries he gets exhausted so easily he can only get through about 5 math problems. It takes him so much effort to do any school work at all.

    He'll be pulled out for reading and math next year but in the regular classroom for Science and Social Studies. I'm worried about difficult child and middle school. He so wants to fit in but the older he gets the more he notices how far behind others he is.

    Over all, it was probably the easiest of his iep meetings in the last three years.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry, Sharon. This sounds so hard on him- and you. I wonder sometimes how much the medications are making things worse academicly for our kids. Is there any chance they can provide him with a one-on-one tutor to help him a little at the end of school or something? Do they have a qualified person helping with the dyslexia?

    My heart goes out to you both...
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    What's the plan for academics? Also, does he become mentally or physically exhausted while attending to school work?

    Poor kid, it must be hard to realize you are so far behind your peers.
  4. looking4hope

    looking4hope New Member

    Just a thought. Has your difficult child been tested for dyslexia? Dyslexia works for numbers as well as letters, and it may be the reason he is having such a difficult time wit both. You may want to look into it further.

    Another thing that might help is to do 15 - 20 minutes of reading together, where you read a bit, then he reads, etc. I still do this with my son, and when he was slower than the rest of his class in catching on to reading, it created a safe place for him to read without criticism. The good news is he is now an excellent reader (better than many of my 8th grade students!). I know it's difficult for us to be patient with our difficult children, and our difficult children to have patience with a daunting task, but it does pay off. Good luck!
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Glad your meeting went smoothly, but sorry to hear that the academics are such a struggle for your son. My son is also behind academically and his behaviors were so disruptive at school, even in a self-contained classroom, that he did little classwork. I was so concerned about his reading ( I was a reading intervention teacher) that I homeschooled him this past year. It's been tough but what I did learn from the experience is that my son can learn despite his behavior and learning disabilities. It just took finding the right teaching strategies. Push the school to find ways to make learning easier for him. If he can only do 5 math problem, be certain that they are correct. Have an aide or parent volunteer work along with him and correct errors as they arise so that he is not practicing the math opperations incorrectly. Your son's reading problem will require systematic phonics instruction as well as fluency practice. Be sure they are providing a specific reading intervention program with measurable results during the pull-out time. If you feel that your son would learn the material if given more time to do so, have you considered retention. An extra year before middle could be beneficial especially if he is getting the reading help he needs. I noticed from your signature that you are a teacher, can you ask the school to borrow a reading program to use over the summer with your son? Is summar school offered in your area?

  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    wm is lagging behind in academics as well - he'd be due to enter high school this year if he wasn't continuing on in day treatment.

    Like your difficult child, wm knows he's behind; he's frustrated & angry. And given his issues - well, that is the prime focus. This may be as good as it gets for wm academic wise. We are already working on transitional arrangements for both kt & wm if they graduate by IEP standards.

    I know this is little comfort to you (especially as an educator) but your difficult child may have to work on his psychiatric/emotional issues before he can be ready to learn.

    It's hard to watch our difficult children lag, to watch them struggle to get & keep friends & maintain in the school setting. I know your heart hurts for difficult child & there is little more you can do that you haven't already done.

    I'm glad the meeting went smoothly. I'm keeping all my body parts crossed for difficult child & his transition to middle school . by the way, is difficult child in ESY?
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Klmno-I've wondered too, how much medications play into this. It's so hard to know but it makes one wonder. He doesn't have a one on one but is in a small group get his instruction. I'm not sure the people working with him are experts on dyslexia but I'm not sure we have one at the school. We are thinking of getting him a tutor.

    TM-He is both mentally and physically exhausted after doing the work. The plan is for reading they will continue to work with a phonemic approach. At least he made some progress this year. For about two years he made almost no progress.

    Looking-He does have severe dyslexia. husband reads with him every night. Sometimes difficult child reads part and sometimes husband just does the reading depending on difficult child's moods. This is the first year where difficult child has wanted to practice and won't go to bed most nights without husband reading to him.

    Christy-Great suggestions. He does have someone making sure he is doing it correctly and they are using a specific program. Part of the issue is his tiredness and another big part is how much he gets distracted. It's a constant redirecting thing. I've borrowed programs in the past but getting difficult child to do it consistently at home is hard. He doesn't qualify for summer school given his Special Education label-doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Didn't even qualify for ESY-go figure? We talked about retention and everyone agreed in difficult child's case it wouldn't be a good idea.

    I do appreciate all of the good ideas. It's been frustrating because in first grade when the district tested him he was superior in a few areas and average in others, then when the neuropsychologist tested him last year he was significantly below in all areas even his relative area of strength.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda-You must have snuck in when I was typing this response. He didn't qualify for ESY. Don't ask me how. I have to decide if I want to take on that battle now that it is so late. I think they may not have been able to prove regression or that he was at a critical point. It could also be that when he was transferred spec. ed teachers due to the classroom change the ball got dropped.

    Absolutely, I agree that he needs to focus on emotional and there are so many things impeding his ability to learn. We were just hoping this year would be better academically and for one semester it was. Sigh.
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    hugs to you. Glad everyone was calm and supportive at the IEP meeting. It's a good start. He's got the pull outs in math and english, and those will be the most challenging in middle school. You are just going to have to wait and see.......

    You've a good team and I like that the Special Education teacher from the new school attended the meeting. She learned a little about difficult child from the present level of performance section and got a chance to meet you and husband. Another start....

  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm glad that the meeting went well. Like LDM, I also think it was nice a Special Education teacher from your difficult child's new school attended.

    Life is like a roller coaster ride with difficult children!!! On the one hand, the IEP contains good goals and your difficult child will get extra help in reading and math. On the other hand, it is so sad that your difficult child struggles so much academically and is aware of how far behind other students he is. in my humble opinion, middle school years are difficult years even for PCs!!! I'm hoping everything goes well for your difficult child next year!!!

    I know how lots of emotions surface when writing IEPs for our difficult children. It is definitely a stressful time even under the best of circumstances.

    Sending lots of hugs... WFEN
  11. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    I'm glad to hear the meeting went well. Sorry you are saddened by the academic portion. The others have given some good advice. We will always worry....no matter what. Best wishes for difficult child to have an easy transition into middle school ;)
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon and WFEN-I agree it is very good that someone from the other school was there.

    4sumrzn-Thanks for the good wishes on his transition. They are much appreciated!
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Sharon- can you do anything to get a specialist in dyslexia to help him? I thought the sd had to provide this... He deserves to have the education that he needs.