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difficult child's mouth can make you see red
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 637158" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>PatriotsGirl, I am so very, very sorry it has come to this with you. And GM, you are still in my thoughts.</p><p></p><p>Patriot's Girls is right. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about what you do. Don't listen, if you don't want to hear. Stay away from your phone. Tell your relatives that you will gladly talk to them, but that the topic of your daughter is too hurtful so you are setting a boundary and the boundary is that nobody can talk to you about it or you will need to get off the phone, or leave, or whatever-you-are-doing-get-out-of-there. Then enforce it. This is not about them. This is about you and is between only you and your daughter.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter knows darn well she isn't unwanted and she knows darn well why she is being evicted. She, like most difficult children, don't care one bit about how you feel or your being abused/attacked in your own house. Normal kids or young adult kids do care. They do not go this far. They are capable of following rulesk. Our difficult children get into trouble because THEY HATE RULES. They rebel against anyone who tells them what to do. That's why they don't want to work or go to school. They want NOBODY to be the boss over them. It is their own problem. Yet they want money and everything hard working people get and they want it from us. In their eyes, we are mommy and daddy, like we were to them as toddlers and we owe them all their wants and needs. How selfish they are! </p><p></p><p>Their lives will be horrible if THEY don't change their attitudes because this is not a world in which you can do whatever you want to do and still thrive. Society has rules. Families have rules too, mostly just simple societal norms. We don't ask much of our kids. Just...don't hit me, don't swear at me, don't steal, don't keep your room a pigsty, and either get a full time job (even at McDonald's) or go to school full time and pass your classes. That is not expecting much. It's the minimum in any family that is even close to average in the United States. It is them who are out of step, rebellious, surly, mean, and unreasonable...it isn't us.</p><p></p><p>Did you speak to your mother that way? Live with her without working and sleeping all day at her age? I think not. Would your mother have put up with it? I think not.</p><p></p><p>Guide Me, we are here to support you. Your re3latives don't live with difficult children. They are clueless. Don't let fear of their words stop you from finding peace in your home. They want to take her in? Let them. She'll be out in three weeks and they'll have shut up. She isn't going to treat them any better long-term than she treats you.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to both of you. From one who knows first hand, it is very hard to realize your adult child has turned into somebody you would not choose to know if that child were not yours. It's a very bitter pill. It is very sad. Very hurtful.</p><p></p><p>But it is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 637158, member: 1550"] PatriotsGirl, I am so very, very sorry it has come to this with you. And GM, you are still in my thoughts. Patriot's Girls is right. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about what you do. Don't listen, if you don't want to hear. Stay away from your phone. Tell your relatives that you will gladly talk to them, but that the topic of your daughter is too hurtful so you are setting a boundary and the boundary is that nobody can talk to you about it or you will need to get off the phone, or leave, or whatever-you-are-doing-get-out-of-there. Then enforce it. This is not about them. This is about you and is between only you and your daughter. Your daughter knows darn well she isn't unwanted and she knows darn well why she is being evicted. She, like most difficult children, don't care one bit about how you feel or your being abused/attacked in your own house. Normal kids or young adult kids do care. They do not go this far. They are capable of following rulesk. Our difficult children get into trouble because THEY HATE RULES. They rebel against anyone who tells them what to do. That's why they don't want to work or go to school. They want NOBODY to be the boss over them. It is their own problem. Yet they want money and everything hard working people get and they want it from us. In their eyes, we are mommy and daddy, like we were to them as toddlers and we owe them all their wants and needs. How selfish they are! Their lives will be horrible if THEY don't change their attitudes because this is not a world in which you can do whatever you want to do and still thrive. Society has rules. Families have rules too, mostly just simple societal norms. We don't ask much of our kids. Just...don't hit me, don't swear at me, don't steal, don't keep your room a pigsty, and either get a full time job (even at McDonald's) or go to school full time and pass your classes. That is not expecting much. It's the minimum in any family that is even close to average in the United States. It is them who are out of step, rebellious, surly, mean, and unreasonable...it isn't us. Did you speak to your mother that way? Live with her without working and sleeping all day at her age? I think not. Would your mother have put up with it? I think not. Guide Me, we are here to support you. Your re3latives don't live with difficult children. They are clueless. Don't let fear of their words stop you from finding peace in your home. They want to take her in? Let them. She'll be out in three weeks and they'll have shut up. She isn't going to treat them any better long-term than she treats you. Hugs to both of you. From one who knows first hand, it is very hard to realize your adult child has turned into somebody you would not choose to know if that child were not yours. It's a very bitter pill. It is very sad. Very hurtful. But it is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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