Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's narrative to his life -how very, very sad
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 637860" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Than you for your insight dstc, it is greatly appreciated!</p><p></p><p>I recognize some of those thought processes you describe from my son. Or I of course see them more as process of actions, but they are really spot on to some of his behaviours.</p><p></p><p>For example the team he was till year and half ago. They really were great to him, really tried to support him. difficult child's version for his last months there and after that was, that they absolutely hated him. He didn't start to miss work though (though I think they probably hoped he would in the end) he said his goodbyes with month long tantrum. And few can throw a tantrum like him. And even after they endured that, his version was, that they hated him. It took him almost a year to start to look at it differently. I heard from someone, that he actually did apologise to few key people last spring, but he hasn't mentioned it to me so I haven't asked.</p><p></p><p>He certainly does think that being victimized was his fault. and it doesn't help that he has gotten that message from some others too. Especially soon after it happened (videos made of the incident were laughing stock among his team mates till they matured a bit and understood, the actual seriousness of the whole thing.) And difficult child is acutely aware that many people, including even his dad, can't help but think, that if difficult child were a different person (more socially skilled, more popular, getting along better with his peers), this would had never happened. And that is actually probably true. difficult child was victimized because some didn't like him, some were jealous of him, some found him too arrogant or aloof. And then there is of course all the macho bs about getting victimized, not being strong enough to fight them off and so on.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is also a perfectionist, always have been and that too has always caused some 'all or nothing' attitude that causes some similar type of actions.</p><p></p><p>You are also right that it is a mind frame he has to learn to let go and fight back. It is not the one that would lead to happy or healthy life. With that I think we come back to the therapy issue. He seems avoidant when someone mentions getting back to more intensive therapy. Not wanting to do the work or simply not up to it at least now? Who knows.</p><p></p><p>Of course also medications are bit changed, so getting used to them, and seeing if they help, will take some time. Then there is self harm issue, career issue and so on. I kind of get why the kid has a crappy attitude, I would too...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 637860, member: 14557"] Than you for your insight dstc, it is greatly appreciated! I recognize some of those thought processes you describe from my son. Or I of course see them more as process of actions, but they are really spot on to some of his behaviours. For example the team he was till year and half ago. They really were great to him, really tried to support him. difficult child's version for his last months there and after that was, that they absolutely hated him. He didn't start to miss work though (though I think they probably hoped he would in the end) he said his goodbyes with month long tantrum. And few can throw a tantrum like him. And even after they endured that, his version was, that they hated him. It took him almost a year to start to look at it differently. I heard from someone, that he actually did apologise to few key people last spring, but he hasn't mentioned it to me so I haven't asked. He certainly does think that being victimized was his fault. and it doesn't help that he has gotten that message from some others too. Especially soon after it happened (videos made of the incident were laughing stock among his team mates till they matured a bit and understood, the actual seriousness of the whole thing.) And difficult child is acutely aware that many people, including even his dad, can't help but think, that if difficult child were a different person (more socially skilled, more popular, getting along better with his peers), this would had never happened. And that is actually probably true. difficult child was victimized because some didn't like him, some were jealous of him, some found him too arrogant or aloof. And then there is of course all the macho bs about getting victimized, not being strong enough to fight them off and so on. difficult child is also a perfectionist, always have been and that too has always caused some 'all or nothing' attitude that causes some similar type of actions. You are also right that it is a mind frame he has to learn to let go and fight back. It is not the one that would lead to happy or healthy life. With that I think we come back to the therapy issue. He seems avoidant when someone mentions getting back to more intensive therapy. Not wanting to do the work or simply not up to it at least now? Who knows. Of course also medications are bit changed, so getting used to them, and seeing if they help, will take some time. Then there is self harm issue, career issue and so on. I kind of get why the kid has a crappy attitude, I would too... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's narrative to his life -how very, very sad
Top