difficult child's recent drama filled life

[Nancy]

In the past several weeks this is what difficult child's drama filled life has consisted of:

-got pregnant
-got fired from job, presumably because she was pregnant
-got two camera speeding tickets
-got abortion
-got new job
-left that job after two weeks
-got another new job doesn't start until Nov 15
-got collection letter and call for $4,000 still owed from treatment center last year
-got kicked out of sober house for missing curfew
-got another camera speeding ticked speeding home to try to make curfew
-moved in with another girl in her apartment
-got car towed for pareking on wrong side of street

The last four things happened yesterday.

As far as I know she is still sober....but at this rate for how long?

Nancy

 

[Signorina]

Oh Nancy. wOw. There are just some people who seem to want to live their lives from crisis to crisis. I had always assumed that lifestyle came from having so many real crises that the ups and downs seemed normal. And that when life finally settled down for them - they would learn to appreciate and cherish the more mundane days and weeks. I've learned that isn't true for everyone.

I hope your difficult child will stay sober and is just having settling pains. I would be worried about her living with a friend instead of in the sober house. Do you know anything about her new roomie?

 

[elizabrary]

Are you sure that's not my daughter? I'm feeling your pain! My difficult child goes through spells like that too. It's more than I can bear. Lately she's remained relatively drama free, but that usually doesn't last long! Be good to yourself- there's nothing you can do about it.

 

[Nancy]

Thanks Sig, not much other than what she has told us and I subscribe to the thought that we know an addict is lying when their mouth moves. I looked at her fb and she seems like a good person, she's been sober for a while now and looks like she is committed to staying sober. She is a college grad...have no idea why she would let difficult child live there and it is probably short lived as soon as she finds out what difficult child's drama filled life is all about. We won't give difficult child her bedroom furniture so I guess she's sleeping on the floor. She's paying $450 a month rent, but she hasn't even started her new job yet so she has no money to pay it for quite a while.

 

[Signorina]

Well, that's good news. I agree with you on the lips are moving thing. I am glad the new roommate has her life together. Maybe the new roomie sees some of her (past) self in difficult child and is reaching out and will be a good role model. If she's sober for a while, I have to hope she is well acquainted in the "do not enable" protocol.

(Funny how much hope I find when things are not the "worst case scenario" - maybe I should change my board name to pollyanna. LOL)

 

[DDD]

Most addict difficult child's seem to travel from one chaotic circumstance to another. Sometimes they set themselves up and don't/can't take responsibility and other times it's just life. I really sincerely hope that she will not use these stressors as a pathway to new or renewed problems. Your concerns are totally valid. My personal feelings are that usually (not always) addict difficult child's are basically weak in coping skills and conflict resolution. I know that difficult child#1 seems drawn to chaos, has very poor preplanning skills and often feels that his life is really sorry. Most of the stress that he shares with me (particularly when he is intoxicated) is, at least partially, self induced. Very sad.

I am still rooting for your daughter. She has the smarts to make healthier decisions and I sincerely hope she doesn't dwell on the negative. Hugs. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Sigh. Sounds like my life when I was a young adult. I am praying her night in shining armor comes along to save her from herself.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Yup, sounds like my kids too... so many of them live their lives like this, I don't know how they can stand it.

Praying she stays sober..

 

[FlowerGarden]

Hoping she can stay sober through all these setbacks.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Sigh. Sounds like my life when I was a young adult. I am praying her night in shining armor comes along to save her from herself.

Me too!!! And what is crazy is my husband and I saved eachother from GFGness....lol.

Nancy, she is sober today. That is good! That is excellent! Praying she stays that way!

 

[Kathy813]

Nancy, you know that I am rooting for your difficult child. Once she starts her job, she should be able to handle the rent. Hopefully, having a more stable roommate might be a really good thing for her. My difficult child did best the year that she lived with a girl who had a chart on the wall with when each bill was due and expected difficult child to pay on time.

I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed.

 

[buddy]

Awwww, i know she is a difficult child and all, but that is just a lot of stress no matter what. I get it that if she made better decisions she would not have such stress, my sister is much the same way. But i still feel for them. I hate that the very people who can't handle doing things the hard way, end up doing everything the hard way.

Thinking of you and her..... she has been thru alot, so have you. hugs, Buddy

 

[Hound dog]

Well, the good part of all that is that she's still sober.

Hopefully it won't take her too long to figure out that a drama free life has it's own rewards.

Hugs

 

[Star*]

Praying for the KNIGHT in shining armor? no no no......I'm praying the kid sees the light of DAY........sigh......Keep the faith Nancy. (and armor all Janet)

 

[Fran]

Sheesh, that's a lot of incidents for 2 wks.
Does she seem to notice that her life is in chaos or does she not care?
I know you are feeling it.

 

[dashcat]

Nancy,
Hang on to the fact that she is still sober. It may be that maintaining sobriety is taking every ounce of strength she has right now.
Dash

 

[toughlovin]

Hugs Nancy.... I continue to hope she stays sober through all of this. I would love to live closer so we could have a cup of coffee and commiserate and support each other.... but gosh then our difficult children would meet and I think that would be a disaster.

TL

 

[AnnieO]

I, too, am praying for her... Staying sober with drama all around can't be easy. (I'm not an addict, unless you count nicotine, but staying sober through all of that would challenge even me.)

and for her, too.

 

[Nancy]

husband called the treatment center to see what we could negotiate on the bill. He settled it for $1500 so we will pay that and be done with it. We thought long and hard and decided if we didn't pay it they would garnish her wages and she would lose her job and since we were the ones who sent her there we felt we should do the right thing and pay it. I know difficult child will never understand what this means to her but we have never not paid a bill in our lives and even though it was in her name I had an unease feeling leaving her with this debt.

I haven't spoken to her since Tuesday so I don't even know for sure where she is living but no news is good news.

Nancy

 

[Kathy813]

would love to live closer so we could have a cup of coffee and commiserate and support each other.... but gosh then our difficult children would meet and I think that would be a disaster.

Can you even imagine if all of our difficult child's met? We wouldn't stand a chance.