difficult child's recent drama filled life

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Nov 9, 2011.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    In the past several weeks this is what difficult child's drama filled life has consisted of:

    -got pregnant
    -got fired from job, presumably because she was pregnant
    -got two camera speeding tickets
    -got abortion
    -got new job
    -left that job after two weeks
    -got another new job doesn't start until Nov 15
    -got collection letter and call for $4,000 still owed from treatment center last year
    -got kicked out of sober house for missing curfew
    -got another camera speeding ticked speeding home to try to make curfew
    -moved in with another girl in her apartment
    -got car towed for pareking on wrong side of street

    The last four things happened yesterday.

    As far as I know she is still sober....but at this rate for how long?

  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Oh Nancy. wOw. There are just some people who seem to want to live their lives from crisis to crisis. I had always assumed that lifestyle came from having so many real crises that the ups and downs seemed normal. And that when life finally settled down for them - they would learn to appreciate and cherish the more mundane days and weeks. I've learned that isn't true for everyone.

    I hope your difficult child will stay sober and is just having settling pains. I would be worried about her living with a friend instead of in the sober house. Do you know anything about her new roomie?
  3. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Are you sure that's not my daughter? I'm feeling your pain! My difficult child goes through spells like that too. It's more than I can bear. Lately she's remained relatively drama free, but that usually doesn't last long! Be good to yourself- there's nothing you can do about it.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks Sig, not much other than what she has told us and I subscribe to the thought that we know an addict is lying when their mouth moves. I looked at her fb and she seems like a good person, she's been sober for a while now and looks like she is committed to staying sober. She is a college grad...have no idea why she would let difficult child live there and it is probably short lived as soon as she finds out what difficult child's drama filled life is all about. We won't give difficult child her bedroom furniture so I guess she's sleeping on the floor. She's paying $450 a month rent, but she hasn't even started her new job yet so she has no money to pay it for quite a while.
  5. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Well, that's good news. I agree with you on the lips are moving thing. I am glad the new roommate has her life together. Maybe the new roomie sees some of her (past) self in difficult child and is reaching out and will be a good role model. If she's sober for a while, I have to hope she is well acquainted in the "do not enable" protocol.

    (Funny how much hope I find when things are not the "worst case scenario" - maybe I should change my board name to pollyanna. LOL)
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Most addict difficult child's seem to travel from one chaotic circumstance to another. Sometimes they set themselves up and don't/can't take responsibility and other times it's just life. I really sincerely hope that she will not use these stressors as a pathway to new or renewed problems. Your concerns are totally valid. My personal feelings are that usually (not always) addict difficult child's are basically weak in coping skills and conflict resolution. I know that difficult child#1 seems drawn to chaos, has very poor preplanning skills and often feels that his life is really sorry. Most of the stress that he shares with me (particularly when he is intoxicated) is, at least partially, self induced. Very sad.

    I am still rooting for your daughter. She has the smarts to make healthier decisions and I sincerely hope she doesn't dwell on the negative. Hugs. DDD
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sigh. Sounds like my life when I was a young adult. I am praying her night in shining armor comes along to save her from herself.
  8. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yup, sounds like my kids too... so many of them live their lives like this, I don't know how they can stand it.

    Praying she stays sober..
  9. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Hoping she can stay sober through all these setbacks.
  10. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Me too!!! And what is crazy is my husband and I saved eachother from GFGness....lol.

    Nancy, she is sober today. That is good! That is excellent! Praying she stays that way!
  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nancy, you know that I am rooting for your difficult child. Once she starts her job, she should be able to handle the rent. Hopefully, having a more stable roommate might be a really good thing for her. My difficult child did best the year that she lived with a girl who had a chart on the wall with when each bill was due and expected difficult child to pay on time.

    I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Awwww, i know she is a difficult child and all, but that is just a lot of stress no matter what. I get it that if she made better decisions she would not have such stress, my sister is much the same way. But i still feel for them. I hate that the very people who can't handle doing things the hard way, end up doing everything the hard way.

    Thinking of you and her..... she has been thru alot, so have you. hugs, Buddy
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, the good part of all that is that she's still sober.

    Hopefully it won't take her too long to figure out that a drama free life has it's own rewards.

  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Praying for the KNIGHT in shining armor? no no no......I'm praying the kid sees the light of DAY........sigh......Keep the faith Nancy. (and armor all Janet)
  15. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Sheesh, that's a lot of incidents for 2 wks.
    Does she seem to notice that her life is in chaos or does she not care?
    I know you are feeling it.
  16. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Hang on to the fact that she is still sober. It may be that maintaining sobriety is taking every ounce of strength she has right now.
  17. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hugs Nancy.... I continue to hope she stays sober through all of this. I would love to live closer so we could have a cup of coffee and commiserate and support each other.... but gosh then our difficult children would meet and I think that would be a disaster.

  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I, too, am praying for her... Staying sober with drama all around can't be easy. (I'm not an addict, unless you count nicotine, but staying sober through all of that would challenge even me.)

    :hugs: and for her, too.
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    husband called the treatment center to see what we could negotiate on the bill. He settled it for $1500 so we will pay that and be done with it. We thought long and hard and decided if we didn't pay it they would garnish her wages and she would lose her job and since we were the ones who sent her there we felt we should do the right thing and pay it. I know difficult child will never understand what this means to her but we have never not paid a bill in our lives and even though it was in her name I had an unease feeling leaving her with this debt.

    I haven't spoken to her since Tuesday so I don't even know for sure where she is living but no news is good news.

  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Can you even imagine if all of our difficult child's met? We wouldn't stand a chance.