My difficult child is 15 (bipolar, ODD, mild ASTHMA) and has been smoking cigarettes (he's been neg on several drug tests) for quite some time apparently (we've known for sure since Sept). When we first found out I took him to his pediatrician and we came up with a plan for him to stop smoking. I just wanted him to be successful. I bought the nicotine patches, etc. Despite being furious with him we treated it as a stupid teenage mistake and were very supportive of his quitting. He went through the whole plan and we had thought he quit. Upon going to the follow up appointment with the doctor we learned that he was still smoking. I had been warned there would likely be a relapse and was once again ready to be supportive of his quitting. Then he dropped the bomb, he didn't want to quit. From there I was just mad and had the audacity to act mad for a few days. This, along with a big growth spurt which rendered his medications useless, set off the first of his two major & recent blow ups. (This led me to this website and my first posting here) Anyway, we ended up sending him to his grandma's for a few days, increasing medications, etc. At my husband's insistance and the psychiatrist advice we agreed to table the smoking issue until after the holidays when his medications would hopefully be back on track. He had more problems, we sent him back to my mom's and wouldn't let him come home for 2 weeks, etc. At my mom's he was able to smoke much more often as he could smoke in my brother's room without anyone seeing him (we all knew he was doing it). Now, he's back home (since x-mas eve)and so far things are going pretty well. And, the holidays are almost over. I dread having to deal with this issue. While my husband doesn't think he should be smoking he also thinks I make too big of an issue of it. (I have never smoked and my husband quit at the same time as difficult child's 1st attempt). I feel it's a big deal because it's likely to lead to drug use, he has asthma, it's potentially a lifelong addiction, the longer you smoke the harder it's supposed to be to quit, the health problems later in life, etc. Not to mention No Smoking is a big family rule. I'm also concerned because he has a little brother that knows he's smoking. easy child has more severe asthma that isn't always as well controlled as we'd like. husband is against the smoking and wants him to quit but doesn't seem sure he wants to deal with the problems that addressing the issue will cause. He's also not sure if difficult child's fragile emotional state can handle the withdrawl. Then there's the issue of if he doesn't want to quit he's not going to. We can't be with him all the time and he'll just continue to smoke on the sly. And yes, all of his friends smoke. Most of their parents know and allow them. difficult child wishes I were like this or would at least ignore it. Any advice out there? How big of an issue should we make this? Any advice on getting a teen who doesn't want to quit to quit?