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Substance Abuse
Difficult phone conversation with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 641441" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have heard a lot of horrible things about our social services in the US, but never ever have I heard of SS expecting a grandparent to supervise their grown child. Is this court ordered? Can you refuse? That is THEIR job. No wonder you are under stress. That's CRAZY. If it were me, I probably would burn out and finally tell them, "I love my grandson, but I am getting too stressed out to keep this up. You will have to make your decision on your own." They are making you be the gatekeeper, but they still are not helping your GS. It's insane. I'd resign from the job since it isn't doing any good anyway. </p><p></p><p>Is it against the rules in the UK to get a lawyer and fight for custody, taking on social services? You do have another grown child and another grandchild and your own precious self to look after and I can't imagine anyone being able to stay mentally healthy with such a burden on his/her shoulders. Stepping back would put the burden where it belongs...on your daughter and on social services. Girl, you will cause yourself high blood pressure and possibly an early death with this sort of pressure on you. And they aren't even listening to you and they are BLAMING you and making you feel guilty and responsible.</p><p></p><p>This is a serious question. Can you move to another area and pull yourself out of this? Everyone is abusing you...social services and your daughter. It's nuts. You can not do what they are expecting of you. You deserve peace from this as the outcome is not up to you or it doesn't seem as if it is even dependent on you. You should not be babysitting your grown child if you are getting sick over it. </p><p></p><p>This is a radical idea. Why not step back and just see what happens and in the meantime take a vacation, focus on yourself, your other family and friends, your hobbies, your own life? In spite of how SS is making you feel like this is ALL in your hands, you have no power here at all and it is zapping you of your life. If you need an excuse, go to your doctor and tell him how stressed you are and ask if he'll write a note excusing you from being so responsible for something you can't control...before it becomes a reality.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could give you a real life hug. This is the best I can do. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 641441, member: 1550"] I have heard a lot of horrible things about our social services in the US, but never ever have I heard of SS expecting a grandparent to supervise their grown child. Is this court ordered? Can you refuse? That is THEIR job. No wonder you are under stress. That's CRAZY. If it were me, I probably would burn out and finally tell them, "I love my grandson, but I am getting too stressed out to keep this up. You will have to make your decision on your own." They are making you be the gatekeeper, but they still are not helping your GS. It's insane. I'd resign from the job since it isn't doing any good anyway. Is it against the rules in the UK to get a lawyer and fight for custody, taking on social services? You do have another grown child and another grandchild and your own precious self to look after and I can't imagine anyone being able to stay mentally healthy with such a burden on his/her shoulders. Stepping back would put the burden where it belongs...on your daughter and on social services. Girl, you will cause yourself high blood pressure and possibly an early death with this sort of pressure on you. And they aren't even listening to you and they are BLAMING you and making you feel guilty and responsible. This is a serious question. Can you move to another area and pull yourself out of this? Everyone is abusing you...social services and your daughter. It's nuts. You can not do what they are expecting of you. You deserve peace from this as the outcome is not up to you or it doesn't seem as if it is even dependent on you. You should not be babysitting your grown child if you are getting sick over it. This is a radical idea. Why not step back and just see what happens and in the meantime take a vacation, focus on yourself, your other family and friends, your hobbies, your own life? In spite of how SS is making you feel like this is ALL in your hands, you have no power here at all and it is zapping you of your life. If you need an excuse, go to your doctor and tell him how stressed you are and ask if he'll write a note excusing you from being so responsible for something you can't control...before it becomes a reality. I wish I could give you a real life hug. This is the best I can do. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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