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Substance Abuse
Difficult phone conversation with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Gone" data-source="post: 641473"><p>They can't force it on me but the thought of my GS going through any distress etc when he can be with me there and CALM is my motivation to do it too , but then I HAVE to go home at some point anyway for the sake of my HEALTH so will ask them what the hell happens then?</p><p></p><p>It looks like at some point in this I will be at home worrying if my GS is being FED or not , taken care of or not , basically NEGLECTED or not and SURELY it is SS's job / DUTY to PROTECT my GS from possible neglect otherwise what the hell is their PURPOSE??</p><p></p><p>I get called in a crisis situation eg the school bus has arrived at the pick up point with my GS who goes to a special needs school but Mum is not there to pick him up , they go to the house and there is no answer and I am told unless I go there IMMEDIATELY and stay there to supervise he is going into emergency foster care so of COURSE I would be there like a shot even though I was over an hour away before</p><p></p><p>So to not pick up my phone to them is like saying ''I don't care what happens to my GS'' and that is how they will see it and I am always good enough to step in in an emergency or crisis situation but never good enough to have him full time and yes I can see it as them using me but I WANT to be there for my GS because I love him and don't actually want him in foster care or left in any danger whatsoever so it is a difficult dilemma but my heart is with my GS as much as my health allows that is as like I said if my health goes in the process I get blamed or seen as incompetant which is so not true I am fully able to care for and live with my GS full time but to be expected to live with an alcoholic full time is a DIFFERENT matter , but once again I hope they are not looking at me to 'supervise' but without a court order they probably WILL and I will state I can do it for 1 month and 1 month only and only if ABSOLUTELY neccessary ie they cannot get an emergency care order from the court if she takes him but to be honest I am going to try my damndest first to CONVINCE my difficult child NOT to take him as the DISRUPTION to him it will cause is not fair on HIM</p><p></p><p>She is thinking about HERSELF not HIM and SS will see that too and it is not good for her 'case' at all whereas even if she changes her mind and decides to leave him where he is and work WITH THEM until she is WELL into her recovery and permanently WELL IN GENERAL THEN they may consider the ''right time'' to have him home which is certainly NOT as yet , recovery is a LONG process and I do not believe she is even IN recovery yet so she has a LONG way to go so it is in her sons best interests to be left where he is for now and I hope she can see that not only for her own sake but actually for my GS's sake because I do NOT want him to go through any more distress or disruption to his life or he will end up MESSED UP</p><p></p><p>I am not sure what the law can do or how far they can go in this emergency situation as it is becoming an emergency now as she said she is taking him home next week NOMATTER WHAT but then she is increasing her chances of LOSING him which she does not seem to SEE because she thinks she can outsmart SS and the courts somehow and she does not realise HOW MUCH and what things I will grass her up for but basically anything which hinders the effective care of my GS will be reported by me! We will fall out over it but my GS's welfare comes before any adult on this planet BUT I do have to take good care of MYSELF in this and THEN him but NO ONE else , the rest are adults and can take care of themselves and if they can't they have to get help , relationships are meant to be a PLEASURE and ENJOYED like I do with my older daughter and of course my little GD .... I don't even need to ''take care'' of my GD , just ENJOY HER , her MUM takes care of her MORE than adequately , there are no concerns about her WHATSOEVER , she is thriving , Mum and Dad are fine even after their loss and it is not a STRESSFUL situation to be in but a PLEASURABLE one , enjoy every minute of it , hate being around my difficult child at most times now</p><p></p><p>It would be SO much easier to detach from her if my GS wasn't involved but I am there for HIM , not her as in if she does not take care of herself it is HER responsibility , my GS is HER responsibility as well but she does NOT take adequate care of him even though she USED to in the past but in the present , NO , but who takes care of little man when Mum is passed out drunk in the bedroom? Me usually , but I hate the thought of it possibly coming to the point where I am at home for my own sake and yet worrying about whether my GS has even EATEN that day!!!</p><p></p><p>THAT is when I would need HEAPS of support I reckon as not knowing is worse than knowing and being able to do something about it and it looks like SS will NOT protect him as much as I would like!!!!! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/angry-very2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":angry-very2:" title="angry-very2 :angry-very2:" data-shortname=":angry-very2:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gone, post: 641473"] They can't force it on me but the thought of my GS going through any distress etc when he can be with me there and CALM is my motivation to do it too , but then I HAVE to go home at some point anyway for the sake of my HEALTH so will ask them what the hell happens then? It looks like at some point in this I will be at home worrying if my GS is being FED or not , taken care of or not , basically NEGLECTED or not and SURELY it is SS's job / DUTY to PROTECT my GS from possible neglect otherwise what the hell is their PURPOSE?? I get called in a crisis situation eg the school bus has arrived at the pick up point with my GS who goes to a special needs school but Mum is not there to pick him up , they go to the house and there is no answer and I am told unless I go there IMMEDIATELY and stay there to supervise he is going into emergency foster care so of COURSE I would be there like a shot even though I was over an hour away before So to not pick up my phone to them is like saying ''I don't care what happens to my GS'' and that is how they will see it and I am always good enough to step in in an emergency or crisis situation but never good enough to have him full time and yes I can see it as them using me but I WANT to be there for my GS because I love him and don't actually want him in foster care or left in any danger whatsoever so it is a difficult dilemma but my heart is with my GS as much as my health allows that is as like I said if my health goes in the process I get blamed or seen as incompetant which is so not true I am fully able to care for and live with my GS full time but to be expected to live with an alcoholic full time is a DIFFERENT matter , but once again I hope they are not looking at me to 'supervise' but without a court order they probably WILL and I will state I can do it for 1 month and 1 month only and only if ABSOLUTELY neccessary ie they cannot get an emergency care order from the court if she takes him but to be honest I am going to try my damndest first to CONVINCE my difficult child NOT to take him as the DISRUPTION to him it will cause is not fair on HIM She is thinking about HERSELF not HIM and SS will see that too and it is not good for her 'case' at all whereas even if she changes her mind and decides to leave him where he is and work WITH THEM until she is WELL into her recovery and permanently WELL IN GENERAL THEN they may consider the ''right time'' to have him home which is certainly NOT as yet , recovery is a LONG process and I do not believe she is even IN recovery yet so she has a LONG way to go so it is in her sons best interests to be left where he is for now and I hope she can see that not only for her own sake but actually for my GS's sake because I do NOT want him to go through any more distress or disruption to his life or he will end up MESSED UP I am not sure what the law can do or how far they can go in this emergency situation as it is becoming an emergency now as she said she is taking him home next week NOMATTER WHAT but then she is increasing her chances of LOSING him which she does not seem to SEE because she thinks she can outsmart SS and the courts somehow and she does not realise HOW MUCH and what things I will grass her up for but basically anything which hinders the effective care of my GS will be reported by me! We will fall out over it but my GS's welfare comes before any adult on this planet BUT I do have to take good care of MYSELF in this and THEN him but NO ONE else , the rest are adults and can take care of themselves and if they can't they have to get help , relationships are meant to be a PLEASURE and ENJOYED like I do with my older daughter and of course my little GD .... I don't even need to ''take care'' of my GD , just ENJOY HER , her MUM takes care of her MORE than adequately , there are no concerns about her WHATSOEVER , she is thriving , Mum and Dad are fine even after their loss and it is not a STRESSFUL situation to be in but a PLEASURABLE one , enjoy every minute of it , hate being around my difficult child at most times now It would be SO much easier to detach from her if my GS wasn't involved but I am there for HIM , not her as in if she does not take care of herself it is HER responsibility , my GS is HER responsibility as well but she does NOT take adequate care of him even though she USED to in the past but in the present , NO , but who takes care of little man when Mum is passed out drunk in the bedroom? Me usually , but I hate the thought of it possibly coming to the point where I am at home for my own sake and yet worrying about whether my GS has even EATEN that day!!! THAT is when I would need HEAPS of support I reckon as not knowing is worse than knowing and being able to do something about it and it looks like SS will NOT protect him as much as I would like!!!!! :angry-very2: [/QUOTE]
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