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Parent Emeritus
Difficulties with grown up daughter. Advice please.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 704834" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, you didn't say how old she is, but sounds like you shouldn't be paying for anything for her. She is I assume over 18 and doesn't sound as if she is even trying to be self sufficient. From what you wrote, she sounds entitled and spoiled and perhaps mean too if you don't dance when she tells you to.</p><p></p><p>What are you getting from the relationship? Nobody can tell you what to do with your daughter but you do have other kids who will see her as an example of an adult in the family. You have to do what is best for you. If she is only nice to you if you pay her bills then her ability to love is questionable. Her love has a price tag? Does she do loving things for you?</p><p></p><p>I always suggest therapy for those struggling with hard issues. Therapy, working with a neutral third party who is not emotionally involved in the family, helped keep me strong. And taught me to love and take care of me and to be happy and grateful for my blessings. I have three awesome kids and one who will forever challenge me and is sometimes not nice to me and others</p><p>But my three others are better than amazing as is my husband.</p><p></p><p>You have other loved ones too.</p><p></p><p>You don't need to put up with anyone abusing you, not even an adult child. Until she is kind, nobody will blame you (at least not here) if you choose to go low contact. Think over what YOU want to do...you matter as much as your adult daughter does.</p><p></p><p>My advice on letting her control you is to NEVER let anyone control you. Anyone. Ever. Then you are a slave. Why would you want that?</p><p></p><p>Hugs and be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 704834, member: 1550"] Well, you didn't say how old she is, but sounds like you shouldn't be paying for anything for her. She is I assume over 18 and doesn't sound as if she is even trying to be self sufficient. From what you wrote, she sounds entitled and spoiled and perhaps mean too if you don't dance when she tells you to. What are you getting from the relationship? Nobody can tell you what to do with your daughter but you do have other kids who will see her as an example of an adult in the family. You have to do what is best for you. If she is only nice to you if you pay her bills then her ability to love is questionable. Her love has a price tag? Does she do loving things for you? I always suggest therapy for those struggling with hard issues. Therapy, working with a neutral third party who is not emotionally involved in the family, helped keep me strong. And taught me to love and take care of me and to be happy and grateful for my blessings. I have three awesome kids and one who will forever challenge me and is sometimes not nice to me and others But my three others are better than amazing as is my husband. You have other loved ones too. You don't need to put up with anyone abusing you, not even an adult child. Until she is kind, nobody will blame you (at least not here) if you choose to go low contact. Think over what YOU want to do...you matter as much as your adult daughter does. My advice on letting her control you is to NEVER let anyone control you. Anyone. Ever. Then you are a slave. Why would you want that? Hugs and be well. [/QUOTE]
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Difficulties with grown up daughter. Advice please.
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