Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Sep 19, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    i hope i'm putting this in the right area this post, if i'm not please remove me to where i need to be lol. :)

    So, I've been thinking about disability for me. reason being i can't seem to hold a job down with difficult child.

    so yes this is difficult child related imight be in wrong area here. sorry.

    has anyone ever applied? received it? i'm in a maze and constantly trying to figure out how to get around her issues to make money. left office as many of you know in april tried to start my own paralegal business from home, yet with summer and difficult child everyday there was no time to dedicate to it. now, i'm just overwhelmed with her stuff.

    kinda upsetting to think at almost 40 i'm thinking of this. yet if i can't ensure a co. i can be at work at 9 a.m. which i cna't with her cycles always changing then what else can i do? i can't work at night because she can't be left alone with-my almost 16 year old at night. so my window of openness is anywhere between 10:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. when i start trekking over to school to get her.

    any ideas? has anyone else had luck applying? i'd use my own diagnosis ofcourse to do so and difficult child's situation. it has truly hindered my ability to earn money outside the home.

    anyone out there start up your own small business from home? my ambition at this point is lacking seriously.

    thanks for any info as always
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I have a disability due to my muscular dystrophy. I had to apply twice as the first answer is always no. I got a disability when I used an attorney, who by law took 1/3 of my first check. The sooner you get an attorney to help you get the disability, the fewer months that you are owed back disability, and the less money that will go to an attorney.

    That being said, you will not receive a disability because of your difficult child's problems. It just isn't set up that way. There is a way to get a disability for your child, which may enable you to stop working. I would use an attorney for sure. I think you should ask the mods to move this post to the Insurance and SSI forum.

    Good luck!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would try for SSI for difficult child. I havne't been able to get disability for my own issues, and can't even get an atty to take the case. So, I am SOL until at some point I can find an atty or get healthy enough to work. Luckily my husband earns a halfway decent living. Fingers crossed this continues.

    I wish you luck. Maybe selling things on ebay?
  4. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    The others are right, you can't get Disability for yourself because of your daughter. You can try to get it for her but it will probably be difficult since by your signature it looks like she doesn't have a concrete diagnosis.

    As far as getting it for your daughter, it may or may not be a good idea. If she gets it she is certified as disabled as far as the gvmt goes. She will not be able to go into any kind of military service and can cause other problems when she is older.

    I am a single mom. I managed to work full time and support us both despite her being kicked out of day cares every few months until she was in 3rd grade. I have been single since she was one. It wasn't easy but you just have to be commited to it. I know it isn't easy but where there is a will there is a way. This board was basicly the only support system I had since my own mother also has major mental problems.

    If you want to start your own business just try to stay focused. The best thing for most difficult child's is a very stringent schedule. It helped my difficult child so much especially at home.

    If it were me, I wouldn't try for SSI for her, but that is me.

  5. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    My oldest child is on soc sec for her disability, and she was approved her first application, we used school records and her IEPS and all her neuropsychologist evaluations etc. My daughters GAF score is usually rather low, about 30-35 at her best. Altho we did not get her on disability until she was 18 for a variety of reasons actually NOT related to her disability OR "her future" Partly it was becuz my husband gets disability due to military service connected disability and I also now get disability due to serious systemic rheumatic illness and Lupus....so our datrs dependants benefits prior to age 18 were more than she would have gotten if she had gotten her own disability. (and she would have lost her dependants benefits)
    Both my husband and I got our soc sec with only one attempt, but we both did have to see a soc sec examiner.

    My thoughts re disability blocking possible future military enlistment are that if your child is THAT symptomatic and it interferes with her life enough to get soc sec, then it is highly doubtful she would ever be functional enough to have any business joining any branch of military.
    Many insurance companies will not insure persons with certain diagnosises....and where I am bipolar was a diagnosis that made my dtr not be able to get private health insurance policy and coverage, and ADD was a similar exclusion for my son. But it did not matter if they had soc sec or not - the diagnosis was made by docs and on record at docs and that was all it took to exclude them from private medical insurance coverage.

    SSI will be based on your childs level of functioning . Can your child attend school? Can your child do any self care at all?
    Those are questions you will need tohave concrete answers for and documentation to support your answers. In order to get ssi your childs level of functioning will need tobe severely impacted by her illness. BUT if she gets ssi, it will be for HER living needs, not yours, and it will not be a huge amount of money. Doubtful you could both live on it. And you would have to provide reciepts and things annually to show you did spend the money on HER needs.

    Yes, it IS difficult, and can be impossible. I have spoken at NAMI meetings and at my state capital and at a Federal commission about this very problem. While I AM married, my husband is quite ill and required 24-7 care, and 2 of my 3 kids are also disabled. My husband family all passed away YEARS ago, and my family and I have been totally estranged for decades. Before I became so ill, and before my husband benefits kicked in, I was stretched to the max, trying to support all of us and also do the daily care required for my husband and kids. I was constantly conflicted and torn, and my job was always in jeopardy due to me haveing to leave so often and my husband and kids were at risk far too often becuz I did have to work. It was only by the grace of G-d that no huge major tragedy occured dureing that time. It was truly awful, and I never slept more than 3 hours a nite and even had surgery in day surgery with my kids in the waiting area becuz I had noone to watch them while I had surgery. The hospital sw approved that when SHE tried in vain to help me find someone, respite, ANYTHING and she also came up empty handed.
    My own docs say they believe it was that time of my life and how busy and difficult it was and how stressful etc that helped contribute to my serious illness.And then I wound up a total quadriplegic for a couple years.

    I say go ahead and TRY, becuz any help at all is good.
    Have you talked to your county health dept? Your county mental health dept? Your local NAMI? Does your area have WRAP around services? SASS? Respite? For a time we did qualify for respite in our home (no overnites) for 8 hours a week.....(altho staffing for respite here at that time was nil, so qualifying was moot)
    Talk to your local resources, beg for help----becuz this is a common problem for many families.

    Maybe some people DO struggle thru it, BUT that level of struggle comes at a VERY high cost. I was a VERY hard working and very productive member of society, I am a nurse, I advocated a LOT, I volunteered a LOT all my life. When my illness hit, it was like I ran face first into a solid brick wall at 240 MPH. Yes, I DID struggle on my own with all my lifes challenges.....and I did it for many many years before it caught up with me. But when it DID catch up with me, my youngest child was still quite young. And even tho I then become so ill myself, my husband and kids needs did not end.

    Maybe there is some possibility you could get a roommate, maybe one with a special needs child of her own, and the 2 of you could pool your resources and share the responsibilitys, work diff shifts from each other? Maybe your county health dept will have ideas. I wish you luck. I know it's hard.