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Discharge day tomorrow then to shelter and who knows...
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 694619" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>He will take every inch of a mile if you give him an inch. I can't imagine how difficult that is going to be for you, but it is the right thing for the both of you. Just as important as the lines you draw in the sand is keeping them, consistently. If you tell him something like "no money", but then sporadically give him money for whatever reason, he is not going to appreciate the rest of your lines. I don't know what you should/should not do for him as far as food, and washing clothes, etc. My aunt still washes my twin sister's laundry when she asks, has her over for dinner, etc. My uncle and I disagree with it, but... My aunt is the boss. </p><p></p><p>Just make sure that whatever help you do provide doesn't make it possible for him to skate by on not doing what he should be doing. Don't give him money for rent so that he can continue not working or paying his rent. Don't constantly feed him so that he no longer has to worry about it. He needs to stand or fall on his own decisions, and behavior, and thinking. If he does fall, he will hopefully learn from the experience. It isn't cruel to expect an adult to be independent. It's cruel NOT to. And dysfunctional. You need to stand firm in regards to whatever boundaries you lay out, and the consequences if he steps out of those lines. If the message is strong enough, he will slowly stop expecting you to do <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> he should be doing for himself. The more firm you stand your ground, and with enough time, he will no longer think of you fixing his <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> as possible, and wont try.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 694619, member: 20267"] He will take every inch of a mile if you give him an inch. I can't imagine how difficult that is going to be for you, but it is the right thing for the both of you. Just as important as the lines you draw in the sand is keeping them, consistently. If you tell him something like "no money", but then sporadically give him money for whatever reason, he is not going to appreciate the rest of your lines. I don't know what you should/should not do for him as far as food, and washing clothes, etc. My aunt still washes my twin sister's laundry when she asks, has her over for dinner, etc. My uncle and I disagree with it, but... My aunt is the boss. Just make sure that whatever help you do provide doesn't make it possible for him to skate by on not doing what he should be doing. Don't give him money for rent so that he can continue not working or paying his rent. Don't constantly feed him so that he no longer has to worry about it. He needs to stand or fall on his own decisions, and behavior, and thinking. If he does fall, he will hopefully learn from the experience. It isn't cruel to expect an adult to be independent. It's cruel NOT to. And dysfunctional. You need to stand firm in regards to whatever boundaries you lay out, and the consequences if he steps out of those lines. If the message is strong enough, he will slowly stop expecting you to do :censored2: he should be doing for himself. The more firm you stand your ground, and with enough time, he will no longer think of you fixing his :censored2: as possible, and wont try. [/QUOTE]
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Discharge day tomorrow then to shelter and who knows...
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