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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 32019" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi Donna,</p><p>oh, I feel bad for the niece! Well, this has been a good thread for me, giving me some more insight into my own dtr. She has been pregnant 3 times by her boyfriend but luckilly miscarried each time. </p><p></p><p>In the late summer after bumming around New England, she came home and he ended up on Long Island. Well, she started seeing friends, seeing other guys, etc. We were pressuring her to get a job or get out and she told boyfriend she couldn't stay with us any longer. He tried to get her to go out to Long Island and sell some stupid product door-to-door, which is what he was doing. She didn't want to go so he came rushing back to Ithaca and despite knowing she had just spent the last 2 days with another guy he took her off with him. I knew she would go with him and at that point I just wanted her out so I guess I "threw her out." But she had been so full of bravado the night before, saying how she wasn't going to let him talk her into anything, etc.</p><p></p><p>Right now she is living in their apt. and he is camping out not too far from where she lives. She says she wants nothing to do with him and they aren't together but she went to see him at his campsite last night to get some stuff she said he took from her.</p><p></p><p>She can't afford the apt. and though he is on the lease he won't pay rent--he couldn't care less that he has gotten her into a terrible financial bind. We wouldn't mind helping her pay the rent til the lease is up (November) and she can get a cheaper, smaller place. Our problem is that we don't want to be helping him and we can't trust her to tell the truth (i.e., has he moved back in, if so he needs to pay rent). We are really struggling with what to do. She is trying to find a smaller place now but not sure if the landlord can rerent her place and if not she will owe for 2 places! I told my husband that I think if we are going to help her we are going to have to know that we may be helping to support him and we are just going to have to live with that. Otherwise we shouldn't help her--tell her she made this mess we can't help her get out due to our issues with her not telling the truth. I don't want to be eaten up alive with this, if we are going to help her I want to be able to not think about her and worry about if she is using us or not--just let it go.</p><p></p><p>Okay, this was supposed to be a quick reply and I also have now hijacked someone else's post--sorry, I will start a new one if needed!</p><p></p><p>Thanks so much,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 32019, member: 3450"] Hi Donna, oh, I feel bad for the niece! Well, this has been a good thread for me, giving me some more insight into my own dtr. She has been pregnant 3 times by her boyfriend but luckilly miscarried each time. In the late summer after bumming around New England, she came home and he ended up on Long Island. Well, she started seeing friends, seeing other guys, etc. We were pressuring her to get a job or get out and she told boyfriend she couldn't stay with us any longer. He tried to get her to go out to Long Island and sell some stupid product door-to-door, which is what he was doing. She didn't want to go so he came rushing back to Ithaca and despite knowing she had just spent the last 2 days with another guy he took her off with him. I knew she would go with him and at that point I just wanted her out so I guess I "threw her out." But she had been so full of bravado the night before, saying how she wasn't going to let him talk her into anything, etc. Right now she is living in their apt. and he is camping out not too far from where she lives. She says she wants nothing to do with him and they aren't together but she went to see him at his campsite last night to get some stuff she said he took from her. She can't afford the apt. and though he is on the lease he won't pay rent--he couldn't care less that he has gotten her into a terrible financial bind. We wouldn't mind helping her pay the rent til the lease is up (November) and she can get a cheaper, smaller place. Our problem is that we don't want to be helping him and we can't trust her to tell the truth (i.e., has he moved back in, if so he needs to pay rent). We are really struggling with what to do. She is trying to find a smaller place now but not sure if the landlord can rerent her place and if not she will owe for 2 places! I told my husband that I think if we are going to help her we are going to have to know that we may be helping to support him and we are just going to have to live with that. Otherwise we shouldn't help her--tell her she made this mess we can't help her get out due to our issues with her not telling the truth. I don't want to be eaten up alive with this, if we are going to help her I want to be able to not think about her and worry about if she is using us or not--just let it go. Okay, this was supposed to be a quick reply and I also have now hijacked someone else's post--sorry, I will start a new one if needed! Thanks so much, Jane [/QUOTE]
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