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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 32021" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well, I dunno if b/f is borderline or not. Sometimes I wonder as some of his behaviors can mimick N's. But he definately has control issues. I've often wondered if he wants out of the relationship. I have my own reasons for not really believing he cares about N even half as much as she does him.</p><p></p><p>Personally I wish he'd just go up and live on campus at the 4 yr college he's starting in the fall and forget about N altogether. But that would make our lives easier, so I doubt it would happen. I'm looking for the situation to esculate then. N will be caring for Aubrey and attending some awfully tough classes at the college, then trying to keep up with homework and studying. B/f will be working fulltime at night, going to class in Dayton during the day, and who knows when he'll do his work or go to sleep. He had promised N to watch the baby while she goes to class. I don't see how at the moment.</p><p></p><p>N and I will continue having talks. And I think if they argue here and I think it's gone out of bounds I will be stepping in to tell b/f so. I'm also considering pushing him to come to at least one of N's psychiatrist appoints. He'll probably just come up with excuses, but it's worth a try. As for the couseling, I dunno if there is a therapist in the area worth the trouble. I'd asked about it last time and N's psychiatrist said she really didn't think the ones in town were very good.</p><p></p><p>In the end the decision will be up to her. She has been standing up to b/f more and more these past months and really using her verbal skills. She is able to see fault with him now. I'm afraid if I push too hard and she defends him she'll lose that ability. Plus if I push too hard N may start to see me as the "bad guy" instead. If that happens I won't be any good to her anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 32021, member: 84"] Well, I dunno if b/f is borderline or not. Sometimes I wonder as some of his behaviors can mimick N's. But he definately has control issues. I've often wondered if he wants out of the relationship. I have my own reasons for not really believing he cares about N even half as much as she does him. Personally I wish he'd just go up and live on campus at the 4 yr college he's starting in the fall and forget about N altogether. But that would make our lives easier, so I doubt it would happen. I'm looking for the situation to esculate then. N will be caring for Aubrey and attending some awfully tough classes at the college, then trying to keep up with homework and studying. B/f will be working fulltime at night, going to class in Dayton during the day, and who knows when he'll do his work or go to sleep. He had promised N to watch the baby while she goes to class. I don't see how at the moment. N and I will continue having talks. And I think if they argue here and I think it's gone out of bounds I will be stepping in to tell b/f so. I'm also considering pushing him to come to at least one of N's psychiatrist appoints. He'll probably just come up with excuses, but it's worth a try. As for the couseling, I dunno if there is a therapist in the area worth the trouble. I'd asked about it last time and N's psychiatrist said she really didn't think the ones in town were very good. In the end the decision will be up to her. She has been standing up to b/f more and more these past months and really using her verbal skills. She is able to see fault with him now. I'm afraid if I push too hard and she defends him she'll lose that ability. Plus if I push too hard N may start to see me as the "bad guy" instead. If that happens I won't be any good to her anymore. [/QUOTE]
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