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General Parenting
Disrespect and laughing at me
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<blockquote data-quote="BestICan" data-source="post: 38059" data-attributes="member: 3413"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>You say the laughing may be 50% on purpose and 50% due to his condition. If it's due to his condition, then I think no reaction on your part is appropriate. If he's doing it on purpose, then I think no reaction on your part would also be appropriate. I wonder if you reframe it in your mind, and give yourself a little mantra every time he laughs "at" you: "This laughing is due to his condition." If you make a point to remind yourself of that, will it help it be less of a hot-button issue for you? This way you might be able to be less frustrated on a daily basis, even if difficult child doesn't change his behavior right away.</p><p></p><p>I've tried the authoritarian drill sergeant thing, and it's impossible to maintain. I find myself slipping into it when I'm keyed up, like when the school bell is about to ring and nobody's ready to leave the house. But in general I have worked really hard to reframe my "orders" into a different kind of language, for example, "If you put your dirty hands on the wall it will get the wall dirty," or "Can you keep your hands up in the air while you walk to the sink?" instead of "Don't put your dirty hands on my wall!" </p><p></p><p>I'd always thought that the opposite of the drill sergeant was the "happy sappy" voice, but I can't maintain that level of positivity either. It's really more effective to just talk in an unemotional voice, without obvious irritation or emotion. That way, it's about the issue (i.e. the wall), not me, and not my feelings related to the issue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BestICan, post: 38059, member: 3413"] Hi, You say the laughing may be 50% on purpose and 50% due to his condition. If it's due to his condition, then I think no reaction on your part is appropriate. If he's doing it on purpose, then I think no reaction on your part would also be appropriate. I wonder if you reframe it in your mind, and give yourself a little mantra every time he laughs "at" you: "This laughing is due to his condition." If you make a point to remind yourself of that, will it help it be less of a hot-button issue for you? This way you might be able to be less frustrated on a daily basis, even if difficult child doesn't change his behavior right away. I've tried the authoritarian drill sergeant thing, and it's impossible to maintain. I find myself slipping into it when I'm keyed up, like when the school bell is about to ring and nobody's ready to leave the house. But in general I have worked really hard to reframe my "orders" into a different kind of language, for example, "If you put your dirty hands on the wall it will get the wall dirty," or "Can you keep your hands up in the air while you walk to the sink?" instead of "Don't put your dirty hands on my wall!" I'd always thought that the opposite of the drill sergeant was the "happy sappy" voice, but I can't maintain that level of positivity either. It's really more effective to just talk in an unemotional voice, without obvious irritation or emotion. That way, it's about the issue (i.e. the wall), not me, and not my feelings related to the issue. [/QUOTE]
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Disrespect and laughing at me
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