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Diverging theories & confusion...
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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 698767" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>I think that we are looking at "detachment" differently. Detachment doesn't mean that you completely estrange yourself from the addict, but more that you don't encourage their drug use, either directly or indirectly through your actions.</p><p></p><p>Many of us remain in contact with our loved ones who are addicted we just don't do anything to support their habit, while we do everything to support their recovery.</p><p></p><p>It is a huge difference between that and a public health program like safe needle exchanges. Safe needle exchanges not only protect the addict, they protect the public from blood-borne infectious disease. </p><p></p><p>My though is that by giving someone shelter, or giving them money it encourages their continued drug use by making it easy for them. They have a safe, comfortable place to use, maybe some stuff to steal to steal to finance their habit. Since they don't have to pay rent any extra funds they may have can go to their habit. Plus it implies that you approve of their use. </p><p></p><p>There is also the fact that detachment protects us. Not only from the obvious legal and physical implications, but from the emotional turmoil that addicts bring with them. Existence with an addict is NEVER drama free. It is a very difficult row to hoe living with them.</p><p></p><p>Detachment or "tough love" may or may not work. Everyone has their own "rock bottom." Everyone has their own trigger that finally makes them realize that they can't live this way. ...and some people don't have that at all and will live and die addicts. I think that detachment helps us stop dancing that 2-step with the addict and break they cycle of drama that feeds into them and destroys our peace.</p><p></p><p>2 stories from group. Just to indicate how everyone has their own breaking point.</p><p></p><p>1st. A bar owner whose bar had a lively cocaine trade going on in the bathroom. !st it started with a little toot on Saturday nights, then it was Friday, then it was every day. He had twin baby boys at home. The night he realized that he would rather stay at the bar after hours than go home to his kids was the night that he realized he needed help. Called his boss who was a recovering alcoholic in the middle of the night and begged for help. Checked himself into a 30 day inpatient treatment center and hasn't used since. 12 year. He never lost a thing, was never estranged from anyone. Just the thought of being separated from his kids was enough. </p><p></p><p>#2. A doctor. Tried crack at a party just to see what the hype was, and it was off to the races from there. Lost his job, his license, his wife, ended up homeless. His own quote was, "I had no job, no wife, no home. I was living on the street and selling drugs to support my habit. It never occurred to me how bad I was until my own mother wouldn't let me in her house. That was the day I knew I needed help."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 698767, member: 20051"] I think that we are looking at "detachment" differently. Detachment doesn't mean that you completely estrange yourself from the addict, but more that you don't encourage their drug use, either directly or indirectly through your actions. Many of us remain in contact with our loved ones who are addicted we just don't do anything to support their habit, while we do everything to support their recovery. It is a huge difference between that and a public health program like safe needle exchanges. Safe needle exchanges not only protect the addict, they protect the public from blood-borne infectious disease. My though is that by giving someone shelter, or giving them money it encourages their continued drug use by making it easy for them. They have a safe, comfortable place to use, maybe some stuff to steal to steal to finance their habit. Since they don't have to pay rent any extra funds they may have can go to their habit. Plus it implies that you approve of their use. There is also the fact that detachment protects us. Not only from the obvious legal and physical implications, but from the emotional turmoil that addicts bring with them. Existence with an addict is NEVER drama free. It is a very difficult row to hoe living with them. Detachment or "tough love" may or may not work. Everyone has their own "rock bottom." Everyone has their own trigger that finally makes them realize that they can't live this way. ...and some people don't have that at all and will live and die addicts. I think that detachment helps us stop dancing that 2-step with the addict and break they cycle of drama that feeds into them and destroys our peace. 2 stories from group. Just to indicate how everyone has their own breaking point. 1st. A bar owner whose bar had a lively cocaine trade going on in the bathroom. !st it started with a little toot on Saturday nights, then it was Friday, then it was every day. He had twin baby boys at home. The night he realized that he would rather stay at the bar after hours than go home to his kids was the night that he realized he needed help. Called his boss who was a recovering alcoholic in the middle of the night and begged for help. Checked himself into a 30 day inpatient treatment center and hasn't used since. 12 year. He never lost a thing, was never estranged from anyone. Just the thought of being separated from his kids was enough. #2. A doctor. Tried crack at a party just to see what the hype was, and it was off to the races from there. Lost his job, his license, his wife, ended up homeless. His own quote was, "I had no job, no wife, no home. I was living on the street and selling drugs to support my habit. It never occurred to me how bad I was until my own mother wouldn't let me in her house. That was the day I knew I needed help." [/QUOTE]
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