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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 672892" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have great sympathy for you over this. Without knowing the cause of the problems, I couldn't begin to suggest a solution other than to do what makes YOU happy for the holiday.</p><p></p><p>I do feel some sympathy for your kids. We had at least a year where I would not take my kids ANYWHERE my brother was. But he was being verbally and physically abusive to my kids & I (not husband because husband is bigger than he is). It happened at my parents' home but out of my mom's eyesight so she refused to believe it happened. My dad was angry esp because the lectures about making up didn't change my mind. When I explained my side of the situation, my dad understood totally but didn't like it. It didn't make the holidays any better. Sometimes a sibling does something that puts your kids in danger and as a parent you have to protect them even if it really upsets other adults. I try to understand that parents have to make tough calls that upset grandparents and other relative because their job as parent has to take priority over their job as son/daughter/sister/brother, Know what I mean?? If it is just a situation where one kid was rude to another adult kid, that is less understandable.</p><p></p><p>It made for some tough holidays for us all, incl my mother & father. I would NOT pressure the kids, just let them know you love them, and hope that at some time in the future there will be peace in the family. You just don't know what the whole story behind the problem are. </p><p></p><p>Maybe volunteering at a holiday meal at a shelter or helping with the animals at an animal shelter would be an interesting new tradition and a way to get your mind off of the problem? Some shelters have a really hard time finding people to come in and feed/walk/clean up after animals on holidays, so you could get tons of snuggles and kisses to help you through. Or you coould bake some extra treats and put together boxes for the cops or firemen or ambulance people who have to work on the holidays instead of spending the day with their families. My uncle was a volunteer fireman/EMT and said that those who work the holidays often get a LOT of grief from their families, so doing something nice for them is super appreciated, esp given how busy they are at the holidays! </p><p></p><p>I learned that doing something nice for someone less fortunate is a great way to get your mind off of your troubles. At least it can help!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 672892, member: 1233"] I have great sympathy for you over this. Without knowing the cause of the problems, I couldn't begin to suggest a solution other than to do what makes YOU happy for the holiday. I do feel some sympathy for your kids. We had at least a year where I would not take my kids ANYWHERE my brother was. But he was being verbally and physically abusive to my kids & I (not husband because husband is bigger than he is). It happened at my parents' home but out of my mom's eyesight so she refused to believe it happened. My dad was angry esp because the lectures about making up didn't change my mind. When I explained my side of the situation, my dad understood totally but didn't like it. It didn't make the holidays any better. Sometimes a sibling does something that puts your kids in danger and as a parent you have to protect them even if it really upsets other adults. I try to understand that parents have to make tough calls that upset grandparents and other relative because their job as parent has to take priority over their job as son/daughter/sister/brother, Know what I mean?? If it is just a situation where one kid was rude to another adult kid, that is less understandable. It made for some tough holidays for us all, incl my mother & father. I would NOT pressure the kids, just let them know you love them, and hope that at some time in the future there will be peace in the family. You just don't know what the whole story behind the problem are. Maybe volunteering at a holiday meal at a shelter or helping with the animals at an animal shelter would be an interesting new tradition and a way to get your mind off of the problem? Some shelters have a really hard time finding people to come in and feed/walk/clean up after animals on holidays, so you could get tons of snuggles and kisses to help you through. Or you coould bake some extra treats and put together boxes for the cops or firemen or ambulance people who have to work on the holidays instead of spending the day with their families. My uncle was a volunteer fireman/EMT and said that those who work the holidays often get a LOT of grief from their families, so doing something nice for them is super appreciated, esp given how busy they are at the holidays! I learned that doing something nice for someone less fortunate is a great way to get your mind off of your troubles. At least it can help! [/QUOTE]
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