Divorce in the near future

[ShakespeareMamaX]

Well...that's it. The marriage has ended (not officially by ppw, yet).

I have many details, but I'm tired to write them right now.

BUT...I am on top of the world.

 

[wakeupcall]

Do I detect a huge sigh of relief? I'm still sorry.....divorce is a hard thing, but perhaps it's been coming and it's good to have it out in the open. We are here for you to share if need be.

 

[WhymeMom?]

Hoping you find peace.....thinking of you as you move forward in your life..........

 

[daralex]

Divorce is never a pleasant thing, but it may be just what you need to move on in a new direction. I can say that with confidence as I am twice divorced! I wish you the best of luck on your new adventure. You'd be surprised as to how strong you really are,Best of luck and all my good thoughts going your way!
-Dara

 

[nvts]

Hi! Listen Hon, you've taken a major step. You've been telling us for a while what's been going on and we know that you've given it a serious try.

My sister is twice divorced (she's got a difficult child) and she calls herself a "two tour veteran of divorce"! But she says she's so much better off since she's gone it alone. After she was divorced the second time, about 3 years later she was diagnosis'd with Fibromyalgia and she says that it's still less frustrating than either one of her marriages!!!

Keep us posted! We're willing to laugh, cry, or put it in perspective for you (big shoulders, warm hearts!).

Beth

 

[trinityroyal]

Morning Shakespeare,

I too sense a lot of relief in your post. Divorce is ugly and messy, but coming to the decision that's right for you--whatever that may be--feels great.

I remember when I split up with my ex-H, my marriage (divorce) counsellor suggested to me that I had divorced him in my head long before we went through the actual process of splitting up. By the time we got to that point, I was so ready.

Take the time you need to get all your ducks in a row, and yes, do keep us posted.

Trinity

 

[Star*]

FINALLY - YEAH!
sorry - I just think you've taken more than anyone should take or be able to forgive. Let your healing begin. (Both of you)

 

[TerryJ2]

Congrats, ShakespeareMama. Get some rest. You've got your whole life ahead of you.

 

[ShakespeareMamaX]

You guys rock.

One question: what is the process of divorce?

I can't elaborate, yet. I'm strapped for time, but I'll be back!

Thank you, everybody!

 

[susiestar]

Glad you have come to a decision. I am in Star's corner - this is a long time coming.

Sounds like you feel good about the decision.

Not sure what the process is, maybe worthwhile to search online for "divorce procedure" and your state.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[SRL]

The two important first steps are to make sure your half of the assets are safe (often this means opening checking/savings in your name and moving in half) and contacting an attorney.

 

[tammyjh]

I'm glad you are feeling good about your decision.
When my ex and I divorced, I was devastated and at the time didn't know that it was actually a positive.
Wishing you the best

 

[Star*]

My best advice for you at this point?

Contact a local womens shelter and tell them you need help - they may even be able to provide an attorney for you and TONS of FANTASTIC advice about things you may forget to do BEFORE you leave - that could have you upset if you don't do them.

You have been mentally abused for years - so you qualify for all the free assistance you can get. And they deal with this sort of thing daily all day every day 365 a year - so call a local shelter. If you don't think your town has one look in the front of any phone book for the domestic abuse hotline - call them - (dont forget to erase the number out of all phones) or call from a pay phone - and they'll tell you who is close and able to help.

Hugs for you dear - I know divorce isn't where you thought you would be at this point - but like someone else here said - it's a start to your new life.

 

[SRL]

If you're in an abusive situation, I'll second Star's advice. We've just been through this with a family member and I'd recommend not taking another step without contacting the nearest resource center. The one we were dealing with had a wide range of resources available for women: free or reduced rate attorney, housing, cell phone, counselors, law enforcement to help the woman get her things out safely, etc.

If you are in abusive situation, you might want to contact one of the moderators to remove this thread once you've gathered the info you need.

 

[totoro]

Well you go girl!!! Yes, why stay if is NO good... because if it is no good for you it is no good for any one else!!!
There doesn't even need to be a blame game... unless violence is involved or abuse of any kind. Just get out. Get you kid out... listen to those who have been there and don't back down.