Do I Dare to Hope??

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Nichole has gotten to the point with Katie to where they're "calling" each other, if you can really call it that. Katie promises to call and rarely "remembers". Nichole calls and most of the time it goes to voice mail which is full. Nichole has texted her repeatedly to finally get a response. Surprised her though when the response came from Kayla, not Katie. When Nichole asked why Katie didn't ever answer the phone, Kayla told her that the best time to call was Tuesdays and Thursdays, that Mondays and Wednesdays she was "out".

    Now it this was a week or more ago. It only registered with Nichole what Kayla actually said when she transferred that info to me last night. Then Nichole tells me that doesn't make sense. The kids are all in school leaving not a thing for Katie to do all day long that would keep her busy enough not to answer the phone or a text. Then Nichole suddenly said........unless she was in school this semester. Which makes sense because that is how our classes at the community college run. They're either on mon/wed or tues/thur. No job would just give her Mon/wed schedule. Then Nichole asked me why Katie wouldn't have just told her she was in school. I didn't think when I said, because she's afraid she'll she probably wants to see how she does first.

    Seems once again kayla has let the cat out of the bag. Not that this would be a bad thing, far far from it. And she had mentioned during the spring/summer she was trying to save the money to pay her fines from a decade ago so she could go back to school.

    There is just the slightest chance that while she certainly did not like a single thing easy child told her when she came down so hard on her last year (easy child got right down to the nitty gritty), maybe some of it sunk in and took root. It was the not trying at all the had the family so utterly frustrated to begin with.

    I hope she is in school. I hope to heaven she doesn't let M sabotage it for her, because I've no doubt he'll be pulling out all the stops to do just that. Hmm. Just hit me, that might be what that whole Chinese restaurant display was about. (good lord!)

    I've not heard from her since her response to my first letter. I've been waiting weeks. But I did go ahead and get the kids Halloween cards to send off. Last time it took her more than a month to write back. So who knows when the next letter will come, especially if she is taking classes.

    First she actually bought the kids their school clothes and supplies, and now this. I sort of wish she'd go ahead and say something so we can support her in this, especially if M is trying to sabotage it for her. It is tough going back to school after so long and it certainly helps to have a rooting section.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I sure hope you're right...
  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Wouldn't this be a positive development? Also, even the purchasing of the grands school supplies is a positive. Let us know when this mystery is figured out and I'll be hoping you're right
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I am praying she is going to school. She needs something like that for so many different reasons, not just to get a decent job.

    If she doesn't do well, I'll still be proud of her for going because she actually made a plan, stuck to it, and gave it a shot. Something I've never seen her do except that very short time she was separated from M when Kayla was a baby......and even during that time, I had to be the one making the plans and making sure she followed through.

    I suppose it might be some sort of volunteer work, but I don't see how as she'd need transportation. I wouldn't mind this either because it exposes her to other people, would help her make real friends, give her references and make her feel good about herself. But while the county would provide transport to school, they wouldn't to somewhere to volunteer.

    IF she IS going, I wish she'd tell us so that I could tell her that regardless, I'd make sure she made it to class and home again. County transport is over burdened right now and not always reliable. She doesn't live horribly far from the college......about 2 miles or so, but in nasty weather that can be quite a walk. Unless she's got a real fire under her backside.....well, Katie is not much of a walker, not even to go for food. I don't mind helping for this sort of thing. I've done it with all the kids.

    So I'm praying, but I'm trying not to get too hopeful since we don't know for certain.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's hard not to let your imagination go wild wondering. I was thinking maybe she's in a parenting program twice a week or working at a shelter. No matter what she's doing it sounds like progress. I'm crossing fingers and trying to fight my curiosity. Hugs. DDD
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    DDD parenting classes never entered my mind. That might be a possibility too.

    At this point, I'll take any positives I can get with this girl. (girl? my god she's going to be 33 in we ever stop calling them girls? lol )
  7. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    What's happening with Moron Man and his psychiatric assessment following his buffet escapade?
  8. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I was wondering that myself! I thought maybe I missed something. Is he back living there with the family again?
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I haven't a clue what happened to Moron man. IF he was charged, I didn't catch it in the paper. Could've been he opted the psychiatric evaluation to avoid being charged. I dunno.....I've never dealt with that sort of thing.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending up a lot of positive juju that you're right!
  11. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Fingers crossed!!! That would most certainly be a step in the right direction.
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Yes, hope! I'm surprised Kayla didn't tell where her mom was going. Fingers crossed for Katie and the kids!
  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Do we moms ever stop hoping? I think these are all great signs... Follow you intuition!
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I don't think we mom's ever truly stop hoping. LOL I try to convince myself that I have.........but, yeah.

    I am beginning to wonder if she has only replied to my letter simply because she acted to Nichole like I'm still her mother figure......I was so disappointed in her.....yadda yadda. I mean, Nichole is her sister, but I am Nichole's biomom and she knows how close we are so she couldn't really dog me to her or anything. I'm wondering because for all her "I want to resolve this" junk, she sure is in no hurry to do so. The last response took more than a month, and Nichole had to send her both envelopes AND stamps. Now I know the income going into that household, there is no reason whatsoever Katie can't well afford both. It's been more than a month, and still no response.

    I didn't take the bait of her Borderline (BPD) behavior, but I was careful with how I worded things even while being honest. I type the letters so I can keep copies. (I'm not stupid, I've learned)

    But part of me wonders if she figured out I went to the police over the fb photo that was obvious Kayla and Alex had to see. That wouldn't be so hard to deduce if she did, shoot, I'd tell her straight out if she asked........and I'd again tell her why I did it. I have no idea what the repercussions of that might have been legally or with M or both. Nor do I really care.

    I'm going to send off the kids cards tomorrow with the invitation to the halloween party. I'd like them to come. Everyone else would like them to come. But it will be what it will be. At least they'll know Nana still thought of them and invited them.

    I might not even get a letter back from her this time. will get cards for holidays and I'll have Nichole drop off their xmas presents for them. Katie will just have to deal with it.