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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Do the holidays bother those of us with little to no FOO?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 672851" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I wish I were more like that too, pasa. </p><p></p><p>Roar.</p><p></p><p>I will be jealous and hate her in absentia, then.</p><p></p><p><em>Three </em>sisters?</p><p></p><p>For heaven's sake, I've barely survived one.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Okay, but here is the thing. This woman's children have not gone a wrong way, day after day and year after year. She has not had to question herself and her motives and her belief systems and her life choices the way we have.</p><p></p><p>It wasn't the ways we were raised that broke each of us. It was losing our children and that dream of them and of ourselves<em> and of what we believed we had already made of our lives and lost, somehow.</em></p><p></p><p>And of not knowing how we could possibly have lost those lives we'd created for ourselves and our children and never once have seen it coming. </p><p></p><p>This is the vulnerability we were left with. </p><p></p><p>When anything goes wrong, we are responsible. If we cannot address it, we tear into ourselves, certain we must have missed something crucial. And when we have chosen love as our guiding precept throughout our lives, detachment parenting is not something we can understand. It calls our own abandonment issues, and all we know or trust is to love. </p><p></p><p>But detachment parenting seems to be the one things the kids respond to.</p><p></p><p>It kills us to do it, to turn away, though.</p><p></p><p>Double whammy, for us.</p><p></p><p>We do it though.</p><p></p><p>For the sakes of the kids, we have done even that. Maybe, that is what broke us. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 672851, member: 17461"] I wish I were more like that too, pasa. Roar. I will be jealous and hate her in absentia, then. [I]Three [/I]sisters? For heaven's sake, I've barely survived one. :O) Okay, but here is the thing. This woman's children have not gone a wrong way, day after day and year after year. She has not had to question herself and her motives and her belief systems and her life choices the way we have. It wasn't the ways we were raised that broke each of us. It was losing our children and that dream of them and of ourselves[I] and of what we believed we had already made of our lives and lost, somehow.[/I] And of not knowing how we could possibly have lost those lives we'd created for ourselves and our children and never once have seen it coming. This is the vulnerability we were left with. When anything goes wrong, we are responsible. If we cannot address it, we tear into ourselves, certain we must have missed something crucial. And when we have chosen love as our guiding precept throughout our lives, detachment parenting is not something we can understand. It calls our own abandonment issues, and all we know or trust is to love. But detachment parenting seems to be the one things the kids respond to. It kills us to do it, to turn away, though. Double whammy, for us. We do it though. For the sakes of the kids, we have done even that. Maybe, that is what broke us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Do the holidays bother those of us with little to no FOO?
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