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Do we get something out of enabling our grown kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 637521" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Not every cancer patient is 'nice', in fact many are plain nasty. Many cancers have a lot to do with bad choices (for example smoking, being over weight etc.) and so on. Not every cancer patient seem to be doing everything they can to get better (notice "seem", we haven't been in their shoes, we don't know what is actually possible for them. Not anymore than we know with addicts or mentally ill.) It is true we can't give others more than we have and we also have to take care of our selves and keep yourself safe enough ( mentally, physically, financially etc.) but that again is true also with loved one with physical illness.</p><p></p><p>MWM: I'm happy you don't know my son. When you don't you can have much higher opinion of him than if you would. I have 'known' you few years now and unfortunately I have to say that if you would know my difficult child you would hate him and think he is a horrible and nasty person. I of course see it differently and I don't consider some things too serious or similar game changers that you likely would. For me the other things would be that and some of them you wouldn't maybe mind that much. We are different people. Let's put it this way; half an hour ago difficult child called me 'f***ing c**t', I rolled me eyes and told him he is not 13 anymore. I have inkling you would likely consider it disrespectful or even offensive to be called with c-word in dinner table. For me it is not a big deal in any way. Not that nice but I have never put much value to 'nice.'</p><p></p><p>None of my troubled loved ones have been nice people, all have also made a lot of bad choices, couple are with personality disorder (like my dad.) Still I have my experiences, my opinions and my point of views. I'm not stupid, nor am I a child or even that naive. And I don't need to be patronized.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 637521, member: 14557"] Not every cancer patient is 'nice', in fact many are plain nasty. Many cancers have a lot to do with bad choices (for example smoking, being over weight etc.) and so on. Not every cancer patient seem to be doing everything they can to get better (notice "seem", we haven't been in their shoes, we don't know what is actually possible for them. Not anymore than we know with addicts or mentally ill.) It is true we can't give others more than we have and we also have to take care of our selves and keep yourself safe enough ( mentally, physically, financially etc.) but that again is true also with loved one with physical illness. MWM: I'm happy you don't know my son. When you don't you can have much higher opinion of him than if you would. I have 'known' you few years now and unfortunately I have to say that if you would know my difficult child you would hate him and think he is a horrible and nasty person. I of course see it differently and I don't consider some things too serious or similar game changers that you likely would. For me the other things would be that and some of them you wouldn't maybe mind that much. We are different people. Let's put it this way; half an hour ago difficult child called me 'f***ing c**t', I rolled me eyes and told him he is not 13 anymore. I have inkling you would likely consider it disrespectful or even offensive to be called with c-word in dinner table. For me it is not a big deal in any way. Not that nice but I have never put much value to 'nice.' None of my troubled loved ones have been nice people, all have also made a lot of bad choices, couple are with personality disorder (like my dad.) Still I have my experiences, my opinions and my point of views. I'm not stupid, nor am I a child or even that naive. And I don't need to be patronized. [/QUOTE]
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Do we get something out of enabling our grown kids?
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