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Do you all ever think there will come a time that we don't deal with all this drama anymore?
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<blockquote data-quote="Weary Mother" data-source="post: 706677" data-attributes="member: 20487"><p>I realize that this is an older thread, but I felt compelled to respond. I too wonder if this will ever end and have issues responding to other parents who have "NORMAL" children when I am asked about my own difficult. Lately I have been having anxiety and depression. This is due to worrying about how my children will live. Both of them have burned most of the bridges with others and the peers they used to have. One is in prison, and wanting help when he gets out in the form of living arrangements. The other is living from day to day with no job and it is a matter of time before she can't pay the rent on her small apartment. One is a meth addict, the other has been involved in meth after years of being addicted to opioids from prescriptions and also from getting them illegally. I am worn out from years of the drama with both of them but find myself panicking over how they will live. I also feel very pressured because I am the mother and naturally society expects mothers to be the care takers. Also both of my adult kids know I can help them, but since I have put boundaries of not allowing them to stay with me, I feel a lot of pressure inside of myself that now I must suffer watching them struggle and the pain is so bad at times. So I do walk on egg shells and wonder when the other shoe will drop and feel it will drop on me. As for my friends, I do not tell them any details unless they are very close, I do as someone on this thread said, I just say they are OK and living in what ever place they currently live in. But it makes me feel so alone and scared dealing with all this by myself. This has been a 20 year thing for both of them, constantly getting worse. My son is lucky to be alive as well as my daughter and both of them have attempted suicide before, and both were taken in unconscious to a hospital who simply revived them and turned them loose. I have posted before on here that I envy parents who do not have this problem and have adult kids that do well and actually wonder how that feels? My life would be a piece of cake if that were the case. In any event, I feel like I have a constant feeling of impending doom here. So to clarify this at this time neither of my children live in the same area as I do and neither of them are giving me grief over living with me or asking for help. But it is the other shoe dropping that I feel coming. The son, in prison, makes me feel bad about having no place to go upon release, the daughter, living 500 miles away just does not call except once in a while and then I get hints of her impending issues. And I agree with somewhere who says it is about choices we make and boundaries we set, but the issue after we make good decisions and set good boundaries is that we have to live with this grief the rest of our lives unless somethings changes. That is the thing that keeps me upset also, is the sadness of how their lives have turned out. I know this post is long and many of you have read this before in my posts, but this was hitting a nail for me and I just wanted to respond.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Weary Mother, post: 706677, member: 20487"] I realize that this is an older thread, but I felt compelled to respond. I too wonder if this will ever end and have issues responding to other parents who have "NORMAL" children when I am asked about my own difficult. Lately I have been having anxiety and depression. This is due to worrying about how my children will live. Both of them have burned most of the bridges with others and the peers they used to have. One is in prison, and wanting help when he gets out in the form of living arrangements. The other is living from day to day with no job and it is a matter of time before she can't pay the rent on her small apartment. One is a meth addict, the other has been involved in meth after years of being addicted to opioids from prescriptions and also from getting them illegally. I am worn out from years of the drama with both of them but find myself panicking over how they will live. I also feel very pressured because I am the mother and naturally society expects mothers to be the care takers. Also both of my adult kids know I can help them, but since I have put boundaries of not allowing them to stay with me, I feel a lot of pressure inside of myself that now I must suffer watching them struggle and the pain is so bad at times. So I do walk on egg shells and wonder when the other shoe will drop and feel it will drop on me. As for my friends, I do not tell them any details unless they are very close, I do as someone on this thread said, I just say they are OK and living in what ever place they currently live in. But it makes me feel so alone and scared dealing with all this by myself. This has been a 20 year thing for both of them, constantly getting worse. My son is lucky to be alive as well as my daughter and both of them have attempted suicide before, and both were taken in unconscious to a hospital who simply revived them and turned them loose. I have posted before on here that I envy parents who do not have this problem and have adult kids that do well and actually wonder how that feels? My life would be a piece of cake if that were the case. In any event, I feel like I have a constant feeling of impending doom here. So to clarify this at this time neither of my children live in the same area as I do and neither of them are giving me grief over living with me or asking for help. But it is the other shoe dropping that I feel coming. The son, in prison, makes me feel bad about having no place to go upon release, the daughter, living 500 miles away just does not call except once in a while and then I get hints of her impending issues. And I agree with somewhere who says it is about choices we make and boundaries we set, but the issue after we make good decisions and set good boundaries is that we have to live with this grief the rest of our lives unless somethings changes. That is the thing that keeps me upset also, is the sadness of how their lives have turned out. I know this post is long and many of you have read this before in my posts, but this was hitting a nail for me and I just wanted to respond. [/QUOTE]
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Do you all ever think there will come a time that we don't deal with all this drama anymore?
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