Do you and partner share housework??

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Mar 7, 2018.

  1. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    In the spirit of these lighthearted threads, who does the housework in your home?

    My husband does close to half, always did. That includes dishes, laundry, and when Sonic and Jumper were little, feeding and diapers too. I would say 60/40 me.

    Last edited: Mar 7, 2018
  2. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Yes and no. husband tends to take care of the outdoor type things such as the shovelling (wintertime), lawn-mowing (summertime), tree-pruning, and that sort of thing, while I tend to concentrate my efforts on indoor things such as cooking, baking, laundry, etc.

    As for general household banking, that's always fallen on me, because I'm at home all the time, plus I've been doing it for so many years that I almost feel as though it's become my very own personal job now, plus I actually enjoy doing it, because it gives me a chance to escape the confines of the house for a few hours, and at the same time, get dressed-up.

    As for baby and childcare, I was always the master of that, and really, I much preferred it that way, and besides, husband didn't want any part of changing diapers (ugh-uh), no-siree. In fact, my sister in law had to make an emergency visit over to our house one evening when husband was at home with the kids, because someone had filled their pants (diapers) to the elastics, and husband couldn't possibly handle the situation, so he called dear sister in law to come over and take care of the duty. I was so mad!

    However, with that said, husband is supportive of helping me with dishes (washing/drying), and whatever else I ask him to do, which really, is very little these days. Not like it was when the kids were little.

    Do think had I used disposable diapers when the kids were little, husband might have changed an occasion diaper when needed, but being that I used cloth diapers, there was just no way. LOL!
  3. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    By the way, SOT, totally awesome topic!!! :)
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    husband tended to want to take care of the "manly" stuff, though the cars were "my deal" as I was the first girl to take "auto shop" instead of home economics in our school district. (If it doesn't have a carburetor, I'm out of my league on fuel systems, know how to change oil, do brakes, etc, but have it done these days) Kitchen cleaning was husband's thing as he had food service sanitation engineer's certification and I just didn't clean "well enough" (or wrap well enough).

    He did the gardening because he loved it and I have a black thumb. Other chores were catch as catch can. I mostly did laundry. He did the ironing after he got out of the Army, as well as being in charge of footwear care. (man could he put a shine on a pair of shoes or boots!)

    I'd say fifty-fifty, depending on who was working what hours.
  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Old HAnd :) I got in the spirit because of YOUR good ideas !!
  6. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I was once told when I was in my late 20's by a lady attendant at a gas station that I "needed a wife". (Long Story) Well I tease my darling Jabber that he's a much better wife than I am. :laugh:

    I hit the jackpot with him. A man who grew up with 5 sisters, had been in the military, and then a bachelor for 10 or 15 years after that? Awesome! He knows how to cook, clean, do laundry and does them all because "they need done".

    Okay...I do them too. And to be perfectly honest, neither of us are particularly good at the cleaning part. In fact, our house is always a mess. When things like vacuuming and mopping get done - I do it, but truthfully, it doesn't get done nearly as often as it should. We're just bad housekeepers in that general "make it look nice and neat" category. We have too much clutter and too much dust and we never get a handle on it. I think I probably do more picking up and "cleaning"; I've done showers and toilets, etc. the vast majority of the time...but then again, he's mowed the lawn a lot more than I ever have, and when he gets home he takes care of the dog doo and the cat box and what have you. He takes out the trash way more often. So I'd say it evens out. We both cook - he usually does breakfast on the weekends, but I do sometimes. I'd say I might do dinners a bit more often - but he does them too. I'd call laundry a 50/50 thing and I'd like to say I'm constantly doing dishes, because it feels that way, but truthfully, he does them just about as much.

    All in all, I'd say we have a pretty good split. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really pulling my weight in that department :unsure: doing the "wife things", when he starts doing dishes, for instance...but I hate doing them so I bury that guilt way deep down inside and let him. :tongue:
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  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    One of the funniest things we had happen with the "who does what" thing was in the Army days in Germany.

    I was in the parking lot of our apartment building doing a top rebuild on the carburetor of our tiny Toyota hatchback when Stu's 1st Sgt rolled up wanting to talk to him.

    He got out of his car and started talking in a very "military" way to the skinny rear end in jeans protruding from beneath the hood.

    He was mortified when the other end appeared, complete with long hair pulled back and said, "Hi Frank, Stu's upstairs."

    He said, "What are YOU doing?" I said, "Rebuilding a carb."

    He said, "Why isn't xxx doing that!?!?"

    I replied: "Because he sucks at cars."

    He says:" What's he doing?"

    I said, "the dishes".

    The look on "Top's" face was absolutely priceless.
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  8. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Lil and Jabber you two sound like us. Same thing pretty much. We even use paper plates. Why be fancy? The dogs are the only ones who are here besides us and they don't mind!

    I like the idea of a housekeeper. I saw that on another thread. Maybe once or twice a month. College student....sounds good! I am very disorganized and hub is just kind of disinterested in a squeaky clean place. When we had our house Sonic and Jumper mowed and shoveled the lawn. Usually we paid them and they did good jobs.
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2018
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    My husband is retirement age, but still working his own business. I would say he is working perhaps 3/4 time.

    We have a housekeeper once a month and a rather intricate system of cleaning partially due to my health issues. WE also have a good organizational system.

    My husband helps a lot with folding. He also cooks at least once a week. I would say he does the grocery shopping at least 50 percent of the time.

    We take things to the dry cleaners when I'm sick and can't iron. Also, at Christmas when things get too hectic. We found a discount dry cleaner a little off the beaten path that gives a discount if you pay in advance.

    My husband readily helps if I'm sickly.

    Amazingly, our house is almost always clean and organized.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Since I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, Hubby has taken on more of the housework, stuff I just can't do any longer without a lot of pain. I do the cooking and the laundry, he does general clean-up and litter boxes. I work on sorting and tossing on good days, trying to keep the clutter under some sort of control.
  11. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    We eat off paper plates too! It's just the two of us. Sometimes we use regular plates but I buy good ones from Costco so they're not flimsy.

    My husband is an excellent cook and does almost all of the cooking. He also works from home in sales so is home early afternoons. He cleans up after himself after cooking but I am the one that keep the kitchen clean, loads/unloads dishwasher and does the laundry. He takes care of the heavy outdoor stuff including snowblower or shoveling and the cars. We both love to garden so we share in that.

    When I met him he had houseplants so I knew he was a keeper. Dust though....lots and lots of dust in his apartment!

    My husband had 3 older sisters so I always tease him and say he's a chick with a ****. I know it's crude but he really is an awesome BFF and he really gets the woman's point of view. LOL
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  12. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Love you, SOT! :)

    You feed me with the same energy.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    My husband always thought he did half the housework. He mostly didn't see the need for a lot of it to be done. Right now he is the only one working, so he does less of the housework. He NEVER got away with not doing diapers and I didn't give a hoot what kind of diapers were used. It just didn't matter.

    This was an issue of discussion before Wiz was born. His sister's husband never changed a diaper. He went to change his first diaper, which was messy, and threw up on the baby. So he got out of it and Hubby's Sister just cleaned it all up and never even asked him to change another diaper or be left alone with his own son again until Nephew was maybe five or six. My husband asked me what would happen if he threw up on our baby? I told him he would have 2 messes to clean up. I grew up with a Mother who didn't let my Dad get away with nonsense like that, and never occurred to me to let my husband do it either.

    Lately I don't do many chores at all. The kids do most of the chores except cleaning the tub and toilet. I also take care of my own personal messes and our bedroom. Jess even does my laundry with hers and Tyler does his father's with his. It gets broken down that way for a reason I don't understand, but who am I to question what the kids have worked out that I don't have to do? They get it done and done well.

    My mom believed that each of her kids should know how to take care of themselves before they left high school. She didn't and it wasn't a good feeling. She worked hard to teach us all the chores. I worked to teach them all to my kids. Each of my kids can do laundry, cook, clean a house, defrost a freezer, clean a fridge, do basic household tasks.
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  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Susie... Good for you. My kids all learned laundry, cooking and helped at home. They had good life skills.

    Now all the kids are gone so hubby and I split. My hub never tried to get out of anything. He jumped right in. He had voluntarily babysat his sister's baby, his niece...he knew how to do it all. And didn't mind.

    I really don't know anyone whose husband never helped with the kids. I do know some who never had any expectations that their kids learn adult skills.
  15. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    I do most of the cleaning. He does the laundry and outside stuff. I clean the cars but he changes the oil and that kind of stuff. He is very sloppy about picking up after himself and i have reached the point where it is easier to do it than keep nagging. I do most of the cooking because his mother never let her boys in the kitchen but i have taught him some basics over the years.
  16. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Too bad you and I weren't neighbours when my kids were little. I could have taken a few lessons from you on the diaper changing.

    After reading your post, Susie, I wish I had kept a supply of disposable diapers on-hand (special)... just for husband... for those times when I was out of the home, then tell him, you mister, will be changing diapers. LOL!