BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I am having a philosophical discussion with my sister who I am talking to right now...lolol. And, really, she has this kind-of-a-boyfriend who has dated her (sort of) for three years. She is not allowed to meet his ex, his kids or anyone else because he says he'[s afraid it will traumatize his kids (who he treats like infants) if they know he is dating. H e has been divorced for nine years and his kids are 16 and 13.Until recently nobody even knew she existed. He is NOT still in love with his ex. He broke it off when she cheated on him and she begged him back, but he refused. He simply worries about his kids to the point of silliness (in my opinion). Like he won't let a perfectly normal sixteen year old girl stay home alone at night. That is grounds for him to break a date with Sis so that he can be with his daughter.
She finally met somebody else, but is having trouble letting to of...let's call him Gnome. That's what I call him. I was very happy the day she broke up with him. But he won't let her break up with him and she is so in love/addicted to him that she can't see that he is acting peculiar about the breakup. Simply put, he won't let it happen. I might add, he is a very verbally abusive man who blacks out when he drinks and is alternately nice to my sister and cruel to her and who expects her to sit at home on nights he has custody of his kids. He is jealous of her going out even with her girlfriends, who he doesn't like, so she lies about it to him. Very dysfunctional, I know, but my question is about...what is stalking, not about that dysfunction, which I understand.
Gnome will not let her go. He will text her literally twenty times a day. H e will call and tell her she is the only one and he can't live without her, although he never said this before she broke up with him. He showed up at her job when she refused to see him this weekend. He will NOT just let it go. Now I understand clearly that if my sister did not answer his texts he may go away. That isn't my question. She HAS responded to him, trying to tell him what he did wrong and that they are done and I'm sure that just fueled him on. But showing up at work because he can't see her any other way?
I mentioned stalking and s he said no, she can't consider it stalking or him a stalker. Maybe I just dslike him so much that I am seeing this in a more extreme way. She has only been broken up from him a few weeks and I use "broken up" loosely as she agreed to see him once to here his side of the story and she does text him. But showing up at work? It's a pretty far drive.
I don't need to hear that sister is encouraging him. I know that. She claims she wants him to leave her alone, yet she believes the stuff he tells her then tells me I was right when he does nothing that he promises to do. I get the sickness of it. But she DID tell him they were done. So...is this stalking? What is stalking anyway?
I realize there is nothing I can do to affect her choices about responding to him or not, but the stalking conversation got interesting as it was about "what is stalking anyway?" So what is it? What's your opinion? What is the legal definition? Anyone know?
She finally met somebody else, but is having trouble letting to of...let's call him Gnome. That's what I call him. I was very happy the day she broke up with him. But he won't let her break up with him and she is so in love/addicted to him that she can't see that he is acting peculiar about the breakup. Simply put, he won't let it happen. I might add, he is a very verbally abusive man who blacks out when he drinks and is alternately nice to my sister and cruel to her and who expects her to sit at home on nights he has custody of his kids. He is jealous of her going out even with her girlfriends, who he doesn't like, so she lies about it to him. Very dysfunctional, I know, but my question is about...what is stalking, not about that dysfunction, which I understand.
Gnome will not let her go. He will text her literally twenty times a day. H e will call and tell her she is the only one and he can't live without her, although he never said this before she broke up with him. He showed up at her job when she refused to see him this weekend. He will NOT just let it go. Now I understand clearly that if my sister did not answer his texts he may go away. That isn't my question. She HAS responded to him, trying to tell him what he did wrong and that they are done and I'm sure that just fueled him on. But showing up at work because he can't see her any other way?
I mentioned stalking and s he said no, she can't consider it stalking or him a stalker. Maybe I just dslike him so much that I am seeing this in a more extreme way. She has only been broken up from him a few weeks and I use "broken up" loosely as she agreed to see him once to here his side of the story and she does text him. But showing up at work? It's a pretty far drive.
I don't need to hear that sister is encouraging him. I know that. She claims she wants him to leave her alone, yet she believes the stuff he tells her then tells me I was right when he does nothing that he promises to do. I get the sickness of it. But she DID tell him they were done. So...is this stalking? What is stalking anyway?
I realize there is nothing I can do to affect her choices about responding to him or not, but the stalking conversation got interesting as it was about "what is stalking anyway?" So what is it? What's your opinion? What is the legal definition? Anyone know?
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