Do you have any idea how hard it is...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, Jan 17, 2009.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    not to pull your daughter's hair hard when you have to spend over an hour trying to get a comb out of her hair? It was stuck 3/4 of an inch away from her scalp and was wrapped around tight several times. She has her birthday party tomorrow so I didn't want to cut it out. Well, a part of me wanted to cut it out and not get her hair fixed by the party... but I worked it out anyway. She'll still need a cut soon because of the amount of breakage. I was hoping to wait on that until after our trip to California.

    Argh! Her carelessness and cluelessness is killing me!!! She can't seem to focus on anything since Christmas, this is the second time in a week she did this. The good news is that she actually sat there and listened to me as told exactly what I thought of her latest escapade. She's the only eight year old I know that can't comb her hair.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sorry. I know it is frustrating. Jessie used to refuse to let us cut her hair, or let us comb it. She is the ONLY child I know who used to scream until she passed out during hair cuts. I can remember my mom telling me she wouldn't do that with HER, and then Gma came, read me out for not having her hair cut nicely, and took her for a haircut.

    And then they came home with one exhausted child (in spite of all the bribed Gma promised her) who had lost her voice and one exhausted Gma who felt very sheepish.

    I did solve the comb stuck in the hair problem by only letting Jessie have brushes with WIDE teeth, not bristles.

    And just think, by the time she is 14 you won't be able to get her to quit messing with her hair!

    Sorry mom has had such a rough time of it recently!
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Yikes! What a drag.

    Would it make you feel better to know that Tink (Duckie's twin!) is another 8YO who can't (and won't) comb her hair?

    She had pretty long hair, just past her shoulders, but she would not take are of it. She looked horrible. So I finally brought her in to get a bob. It's darling, and if she refuses to brush it (or let me brush it) it does not look nearly as bad as a 2' long rat's nest.
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    difficult child couldn't comb out her hair at 8. Her hair is so incredibly thick so it's always been hard to comb. We were using conditioner on her hair by 3. The spray on conditioner for after baths wasn't near enough. She's started using Aussie Moist shampoo and conditioner and it's worked wonders.

    If you were combing it dry, I would have washed and conditioned it first. It would have made it easier to comb out.

    What exactly did she do to her hair?
    Lasted edited by : Feb 14, 2009
  5. YoyoMama

    YoyoMama New Member

    I am laughing with recognition of the difficulty over things that are such everyday life items that SHOULD be so easy, not even noticable and YET become IMPOSSIBLE!!!

    When my son was 4 his teacher and principal and others at his school accused me of being an inadequate mother. (The precipitating issue was that he soiled his pants. Nevermind that it was a medical issue.) One of the items on the list of charges was that his hair was unwashed and unkempt. WELL, for one his straight blond hair is usually bad hair day - bed hair with a crimp or a bizarre twist that brushing does NOTHING to cure. So he looked unkempt even though his hair was always brushed. But add onto that the screaming torment of hairwashing - as though the water burned like acid. So I had a great idea. The teacher's sister owned a wellknown hair salon that my mother had used for over 30 years. Two of my son's teachers sisters worked there. SO I took him there to get his hair washed. Well I had to hold him down while two others washed his hair and he screamed bloody murder. I knew this would get back to the teacher and principal and thought smugly that I had conveyed to them the problem. Smug indeed, the whole thing got turned around on me and I was accused of abusing him by pinning him down and crushing him.

    Can't win for losing. Some of the simplest things like having your child comb her hair can turn into such a nightmare. It is so nice to be among people who understand. I'm sorry TiredMommy. How would she look with a pixie cut? Not much combing needed with that style.
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    She doesn't remember what she did, Heather. :rolleyes:

    My best guess is that she was combing with one hand and was playing with something in her other hand because that's what happened the first time. She's been so out of whack since going off her schedule at Christmas that she cannot focus on one thing at a time.

    FWIW, husband used cutters to break the comb close to the knot so that I could slowly work the hair off the comb. I easily used half a bottle of No More Tangles spray and a few large dollops of J&J leave in conditioner.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry, TM!!! I have to admit though- I used to be really bad about stuff pertaining to my hair when I was a kid. I was a tomboy though and really didn't care about having my hair fixed the way my mom wanted it. Anyway, I'm glad you got it out and am sorry you had to go through the frustration. You must have a tremendous amount of patience- I thinkk I would have cut it out after 15 mins of fooling with it.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello TM--

    Add my daughter to the list of 8 year-olds that could not/would not comb their hair. And she would not let me comb it...and to try and wash it...YIKES! It's a wonder that none of the neighbors ever called CPS for child abuse after hearing her scream!

    We had to keep her hair really short for years...

    In fact now, at age 13...she is finally willing to try to grow it long...although she is still funny about washing it. She tries to wash it without actually "mussing it up" at she just kind of rubs shampoo onto the top of her head...and many days it still looks terrible. BUT, at least she is trying!
  9. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    I had to cut my difficult child's hair short because of all the knots! She hated brushing her hair. would complain that she couldn't do it. i finally went out and got the detangling spray and it worked for her. until the day she lost it all, she would brush it (although only when told!) I noticed at night that she'd sleep with- a blanket over her head and that really knotted it up. As long as she had a cut above the shoulders she could brush it herself.

    now we have it quite hair. I suppose her condition does have some good points
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I keep threatening to chop off easy child's hair for similar reasons (she's 9). She wants her hair long but she doesn't want to be bothered with keeping it brushed/combed. Some days I just let her comb it herself because it's not worth the battle hearing her complain about the pulling -- but she just doesn't get it that if you comb it out more than ONCE a day, it helps keep the tangles from getting soooo bad! Arrgh!

    Right now the last 6 inches look really ragged -- she could use a good trim. I'd rather she get it cut to shoulder length, and it would look really cute, but she won't hear of it.
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie cares about her hair and will brush/comb on her own. She's just very careless lately. Part of me would like to cut it short, but she cheers in the fall and needs to have enough hair to make a ponytail, so a really short cut is out.
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Boy, does that bring back memories! In a few short years, my daughter went from being an almost bald baby to having long, very thick, curly hair! She wanted it long and I couldn't bear the thought of cutting it short because it was so pretty when it was fixed nicely. It went into little gold ringlettes. But she had the kind of hair that you had to do something with. If it was let loose, she ended up looking like a blonde version of that character that Gilda Radner used to play on SNL! Thank goodness, she wasn't too bad about letting me do it, but it was our twice a day ritual throughout her entire childhood! No way could she sleep with it loose - every single night, no matter how tired she was, she had to sit while I put her hair in one long braid down her back. And in the morning she had to sit again while I put it in pony tails or braids or whatever, depending on how much time I had and how creative I felt. And combing it out after it was washed was an absolute nightmare, even with tons of conditioner. No way could she have done all that herself!
  13. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    How frustrating.

    When I was 8 (remember distinctively) my mom put electric curlers in my hair. My hair was way down past my waist. She couldn't get them out. It was my brothers wedding and I remember her pulling them out in the car on the way to the wedding. OMG did that hurt. Hope you were gentle.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, my. How DO they do these things?
    You are so patient. I would have ended up using a scissors.
  15. ML

    ML Guest

    Manster's lazy about how he brushes and there is always a rats nest in it. Yesterday my brother (I don't know how he did it) talked him into a hair cut and I am thrilled.
  16. lillians

    lillians lillians

    our daughter gets the nests all the time,,every day ,,long hair she refuses to let us cut or comb,,and she cant nor can she wash it properly,, i think its a place where they get stuck,,even her teachers get on her lol,i just trun the other way mostly now,, i hope this to shall pass,,i have spent hours trying to unravel combs,,or take out snarls,,but now only when asked,, good luck
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know that wasn't easy to get out! husband always did easy child's hair and just the type of hair it was it would take hours to comb out-he was always gentle but there were still tears at times!

    I hope she can keep it from happening again!
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I remember the frustration of trying to do Jessie's hair. Not only did she scream until she passed out (literally passed out from exhaustion and had NO VOICE for days afterward!), she had hissy fits if I combed it. Even with leave in conditioner to help the tangles, she just hated it.

    BUT the little monster would let one of the teachers at daycare do ANYTHING to her hair. I kept a comb and ponytail holders and spray conditioner there for the teacher to use. Only after she asked for it though, I didnt' push them to do it. The teacher just thought I wasn't coordinated enough to do it (hand problems did make braids tough, but I could do ponytails if she would let me). Then she was trying to show me how to french braid jessie's hair and Jess started screaming when she saw me with a ponytail holder.

    We NEVER had an incident where she said I pulled her hair or whatever. She was that way from birth about the hair. And when she changed rooms in preschool she went back to screaming - it was only the one teacher that could "fix" her hair. Thank God the woman was nice enough to do Jessie's hair for picture day every year Jessie was there. I DID tip the woman, even though technically we were not supposed to.

    Then there was the year Jessie INSISTED on a pixie cut. It was cute, I thought. But a week after they cut 2 feet of hair off of her I learned that she wanted the cut because Wiz was using her hair as a handle to force her to do things and to yank her around when he was mad. I was so angry at Wiz. Not because I cared what Jessie did with her hair, but because he was hurting her and the only solution she could find was to cut her hair off. Wiz told her he would kill Tyler if she told me about it. It is amazing to me that WIZ lived through that, I was SO MAD.

    Anyway, you have LOTS of sympathy from me. I will say that Biosilk therapy by Farouk is the best thing I have found for helping get rat's nests out of hair.
  19. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    That would be why both girls have pixies... K's is growing out and she is finally *trying* to take care of it.
    Still looks like a rats nest most of the time, food or spit in it.
    Just got a blowdryer near her for the first time ever! N has been to a professional once!

    This would be why she only has access to one of those soft horse hair brushes!
    I would have chopped it! You are a patient woman!