PersonalEnigma
New Member
It's been ages since I\ve been here (3 years to be specific). My newborn baby has grown into a very active and interesting little girl. But she is a terribly challenging little one.
When she was really little, well under a year old, she was suprisingly capable of being decetive. She loved the TV clicker. I would tell her not to take it, then she'd go after it, then hide it behind her back and deny that she had it. She would also sometimes throw it across the room then say she didn't take it. Her behaviours of this type continued. She frequently take things she is not supposed to have (and knows she is not supposed to have). If we put things up too high for her to reach, she will climb to get them. I can't hide stuff either - she seeks them out, and is very persistant about it. her favorites are playing in the dogs' water (or any other liquid or cream if she can't get the water), drawing with markers (on the floor, her body, toys, and occasionally paper), stealing food (usually the peanut butter out of the top cupboards since I can lock the fridge), and my make-up which she wears whenever it occurs to her to get pretty (and I almost never wear make-up).
When confronted with what she has done she will respond by lying. For example when drawing on something, I ask her, is that paper? I have discussed only drawing on paper many times. Her response: "It looked like paper". She has no comprehension that some things are not hers (like my stuff, her brother's stuff, her dad's stuff) and has little to no sign of remorse after destroying something, or taking something. When asked to give something that was taken she will hide it, deny having it, run away, or grin and evade. She will also sneak things she should not have into her room, or somewhere else she thinks I won't see. I often find things hidden away later, and she denies knowing how it got there (like the peanutbutter in her bed). Though, soemtimes I will ask if she's seen something and she might admit to having it.
Additionally, S loves to annoy. She and her brother are often at eachoher's throats. S nearly always starts it. She keeps bugging long after L has had his limit. She is also quite physical hitting, kicking, and pushing. She likes to copy a lot to annoy him (though that's semi normal for this stage).
Pets are another issue. She loves the animals, and has always known exactly how to be gentle to them. But, she will deliberately annoy them. She seems to delight in getting them upset with her. She doesn' hurt them, but will drag he dog aroudn the house (on a leash), or carry the cat to the dogs and drop her on them. She has been warned by me and he animals many times, and has been lightly bitten by the dogs and the cats several times. While that upsets her, she still wants to push it. Warning her that she will be bitten slows her briefly, but not completely.
S tends to avoid doing as she is told. Even when she wants something (like to go outside) she will avoid it because I want her to do it (running away, refusing to put on shoes/coat, etc). I have also had a really hard time with toilet training. She is perfectly capable of using a toilet, but prefers to use a diaper whenever she can, and will go find one to put on when she gets the chance. She will refuse to use the toilet any time she is asked to, but will go on her own. The best way to get her to do anything is to use reverse psychology - telling her not to do what you want - but she will outgrow that in no time.
I swear, S never stops. She is always on the go, and I can't keep up. If I confronted her on what she does all the time I'd never stop fighting her. She is also a bad sleeper, and I am only just starting to get her to sleep in her own bed. She still wakes at least twice a night, though she will go back to bed.
Developmentally she has been ahead of the curve. I've seen no language problems, speech issues, coordination issues, etc. She knows her alphabet, can count to 20, and has a keen interest in anything and everything. She's quite delightful really, other than her difficult behaviours. She's not totally into tantrums, but when she has them they seem to be put on - she can turn them off as fast as she turned them on. But she sure can scream and holler when she doesn't get her way (which is more often than not).
So... I hate to use a negative label on someone so young, but at the same time... I can't just let it go after what I've been through with L (who is a whole other story). i am terrified about her going to school, but am really hoping that it will give her somewhere to channel her energy. I am worried that she has ADHD and ODD. The diagnosis is hear-wrenching, especially after I've felt so strongly that L's ODD dignosis was inacurate (the behaviours directly relating to the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) issues). She has not had any formal testing yet, though I am leaning towards it.
Am I being too hasty or over worried? I fret that my experience with L has made me hyper sensitive...
When she was really little, well under a year old, she was suprisingly capable of being decetive. She loved the TV clicker. I would tell her not to take it, then she'd go after it, then hide it behind her back and deny that she had it. She would also sometimes throw it across the room then say she didn't take it. Her behaviours of this type continued. She frequently take things she is not supposed to have (and knows she is not supposed to have). If we put things up too high for her to reach, she will climb to get them. I can't hide stuff either - she seeks them out, and is very persistant about it. her favorites are playing in the dogs' water (or any other liquid or cream if she can't get the water), drawing with markers (on the floor, her body, toys, and occasionally paper), stealing food (usually the peanut butter out of the top cupboards since I can lock the fridge), and my make-up which she wears whenever it occurs to her to get pretty (and I almost never wear make-up).
When confronted with what she has done she will respond by lying. For example when drawing on something, I ask her, is that paper? I have discussed only drawing on paper many times. Her response: "It looked like paper". She has no comprehension that some things are not hers (like my stuff, her brother's stuff, her dad's stuff) and has little to no sign of remorse after destroying something, or taking something. When asked to give something that was taken she will hide it, deny having it, run away, or grin and evade. She will also sneak things she should not have into her room, or somewhere else she thinks I won't see. I often find things hidden away later, and she denies knowing how it got there (like the peanutbutter in her bed). Though, soemtimes I will ask if she's seen something and she might admit to having it.
Additionally, S loves to annoy. She and her brother are often at eachoher's throats. S nearly always starts it. She keeps bugging long after L has had his limit. She is also quite physical hitting, kicking, and pushing. She likes to copy a lot to annoy him (though that's semi normal for this stage).
Pets are another issue. She loves the animals, and has always known exactly how to be gentle to them. But, she will deliberately annoy them. She seems to delight in getting them upset with her. She doesn' hurt them, but will drag he dog aroudn the house (on a leash), or carry the cat to the dogs and drop her on them. She has been warned by me and he animals many times, and has been lightly bitten by the dogs and the cats several times. While that upsets her, she still wants to push it. Warning her that she will be bitten slows her briefly, but not completely.
S tends to avoid doing as she is told. Even when she wants something (like to go outside) she will avoid it because I want her to do it (running away, refusing to put on shoes/coat, etc). I have also had a really hard time with toilet training. She is perfectly capable of using a toilet, but prefers to use a diaper whenever she can, and will go find one to put on when she gets the chance. She will refuse to use the toilet any time she is asked to, but will go on her own. The best way to get her to do anything is to use reverse psychology - telling her not to do what you want - but she will outgrow that in no time.
I swear, S never stops. She is always on the go, and I can't keep up. If I confronted her on what she does all the time I'd never stop fighting her. She is also a bad sleeper, and I am only just starting to get her to sleep in her own bed. She still wakes at least twice a night, though she will go back to bed.
Developmentally she has been ahead of the curve. I've seen no language problems, speech issues, coordination issues, etc. She knows her alphabet, can count to 20, and has a keen interest in anything and everything. She's quite delightful really, other than her difficult behaviours. She's not totally into tantrums, but when she has them they seem to be put on - she can turn them off as fast as she turned them on. But she sure can scream and holler when she doesn't get her way (which is more often than not).
So... I hate to use a negative label on someone so young, but at the same time... I can't just let it go after what I've been through with L (who is a whole other story). i am terrified about her going to school, but am really hoping that it will give her somewhere to channel her energy. I am worried that she has ADHD and ODD. The diagnosis is hear-wrenching, especially after I've felt so strongly that L's ODD dignosis was inacurate (the behaviours directly relating to the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) issues). She has not had any formal testing yet, though I am leaning towards it.
Am I being too hasty or over worried? I fret that my experience with L has made me hyper sensitive...
