Ahhh, the grass is always greener. When I read your post all I could think was, "I would love it if my mom cleaned up a bit when she was here."
My mom is the ultimate spoiled brat and difficult child. When she's at any one of her children's homes she expects to be waiting on hand and foot. And it's not only because she's old and slightly debilitated. She's always been like this. Even when we lived at home she was always sending us to get the mail, pick up the paper, get her a glass of water, a bowl of ice cream, do the dishes, scrub the bath, any chore or errand for her.
A typical day with mom at my house...I will be enjoying a peaceful cup o' joe in the kitchen before work. Mom will shuffle down the hall, sit down and ask me (in a begging type of voice) to make her a cup of coffee & some toast. I get up, make the coffee, get her a slice of quiche (I always have to have it around when she's here or she will eat toast all day) and we chat. I go to work; when I come home at lunch, I have to make her a lunch. The kitchen is usually a mess because she's been grazing all morning. I go back to work. When I get home, my feet barely make it past the threshold and she asks, "What are you fixing for dinner? I have to eat you know, I'm on a schedule because of my diabetes....blah blah blah"......and lets not even go into the bathroom situation (I have to clean it with bleach at least 5/6 times a day!). I also have to help her shower, dress, etc., change & launder her sheets every day, etc.
I think I would faint if my mother lifted a finger for anything other than putting food into her mouth. And I'm not being mean. I love my mom, I do all of this and consider it a gift to be able to care for her in her old age. I'm just saying...:crazy1:
Your mom sounds more like my mother in law - ugh....don't even get me started.
Sending hugs and sympathy. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I tend to use a bit more xanax when either women visit my house. It helps to keep me calm.