Stress Bunny
Active Member
Lately, JT's debt collection agencies have been calling here. This has happened in the past as well. JT has been keeping a very good full-time job and makes a good income doing it, for the past seven months or so. He has been living in his own apartment since February. The problem is that he apparently doesn't use his money to pay his bills.
husband and I are both full-time working professionals, and we have always paid our bills. husband helped JT set up a budget and bill filing system when he moved out and offered numerous times to help him organize and manage his money. JT refused, likely because he immediately began spending money above and beyond his budget on dumb stuff, i.e. tools and truck toys.
Two years ago, when JT went off to college, he got himself a Sears card (against our advice and without telling us), and he maxed it out buying a bunch of tools. He also has student loan debt, though he has nothing to show for it, since he flunked out after two semesters. Lately, medical bills have come in for him for ER visits, etc., and he hasn't been paying those. Of course, JT has plenty of cash to buy his cigarettes and alcohol, apparently, and heaven knows what else.
I texted JT that his debt collectors are calling here again and that we're going to take steps to stop the harassment. He texted back that he was going to work overtime this weekend to "shut them up". I couldn't resist texting back that they will shut up when he pays up!!!
Of course he doesn't feel any sense of empathy for the trouble this causes us on a daily basis. He doesn't feel the least concern for how this affects anyone but him.
Anyway, I have two questions for all of you wise ones about this:
husband and I are both full-time working professionals, and we have always paid our bills. husband helped JT set up a budget and bill filing system when he moved out and offered numerous times to help him organize and manage his money. JT refused, likely because he immediately began spending money above and beyond his budget on dumb stuff, i.e. tools and truck toys.
Two years ago, when JT went off to college, he got himself a Sears card (against our advice and without telling us), and he maxed it out buying a bunch of tools. He also has student loan debt, though he has nothing to show for it, since he flunked out after two semesters. Lately, medical bills have come in for him for ER visits, etc., and he hasn't been paying those. Of course, JT has plenty of cash to buy his cigarettes and alcohol, apparently, and heaven knows what else.
I texted JT that his debt collectors are calling here again and that we're going to take steps to stop the harassment. He texted back that he was going to work overtime this weekend to "shut them up". I couldn't resist texting back that they will shut up when he pays up!!!
Of course he doesn't feel any sense of empathy for the trouble this causes us on a daily basis. He doesn't feel the least concern for how this affects anyone but him.
Anyway, I have two questions for all of you wise ones about this:
- How do we get the collection agencies to stop calling our home? When we answer, we do tell them that JT does not live here and to please stop calling. So, I'm not sure if it's the same places calling or different ones all the time.
- Do your difficult children have difficulty accepting financial responsibility for themselves? Is this part of gift-from-god-dom? Words of wisdom?