Does anyone know how to parent and control a "rockstar" 16 year old??

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by losthope, Jun 25, 2013.

  1. losthope

    losthope New Member

    I don't know what to do anymore, everything was happy and normal during the early years. Now I only see him when he comes home to shower or sleep. It started around the beginning of middle school when he started dressing like punk, more so then the tight pants and old band shirts he would wear before. He has always been extremely talented in just about any form of art he picks up. Seriously extremely. I got him for a cheap guitar and lessons at an early age and before we knew it he had already outgrown his teacher! Ok here's where everything has gone to.. at 12 I found a pack of cigarettes hidden under his bed. Few weeks later I found a little bag with weed in it. This was still when I could actually try to punish him and not let him out. At 13 I found a bag with white powder, I assume it was cocaine but he never told me me and another pack of cigarettes. At 14he stated dating a young lady who said she was 16 but saw on her I.d she was 19. So I told him he wasn't allowed to see her again, he do his usual middle finger act then snuck out and got arrested with what the officer told me was over enough LSD for over 100 people. Any ways ways most of that over but I've noticed that since he has been home he stays up for days and pretends to sleep.. I can constantly smell alcohol on his breath and cigarettes that he blamed on his older friends he in a band with. I don't want to restrict him because I know he Can fly on his own.I'm worried sick about him and we live n Hollywood California so I can't stand thinking about something bad happening. Well thanks for reading and any help if u have had a similar experience really help thank you :)
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You can't parent him at all. He is already enmeshed in drugs and alcohol. He needs serious rehab out of the home. I thought my daughter was early with drugs...she smoked pot at 12. Sounds like your son is already into cocaine and who knows w hat else? Most of us would be focused on that drug use and getting help for that Forget the band. He won't be able to play in any band if he has an overdose. Yes, I am blunt.

    I would have put the kabash on that sixteen/nineteen year old girlfriend. The police would have been called for messing with a minor. Plus I would have called HER. Why did you allow that???? I'm totally shocked. To me sounds like the cocaine and the older girl didn't even bother you that much. I'll tell you right now, it is NOT over. That lack of sleep is probably some drug, snorting ampetimines and/or cocaine or meth. You are in serious denial. Do you ever check his room, his Facebook, his cell phone to see what he's up to? in my opinion you need to try to get his/her child into rehab, counseling, and anything else to slow down the pace of him. He is still a child. He gave you the middle finger? Really? Is there a dad around to teach him manners? Any male who is a strong influence? One hopefully with strong values?

    Kids still need b oundaries in their teenage years or, as you see, they can get out totally out of control. Your son is in a very dangerous situation. I hope you choose to keep him closer to home and get him rehab help. Check his closets, under his mattress, anywhere he could be hidng drugs. If you find them, well, we called the police. Your decision is yours alone. You may want to start going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon.

    How old is he now? Why on earth don't you want to restrict him and what does "fly on his own" mean? Why don't you stop him from being in this band with such destructive people? How is he doing in school? Does he have siblings? You may want to do a signature like I did below. It will help us.

    Hugs and welcome. I'm so sorry you had to be here.
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2013
  3. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    I hope you come back honestly I do. The substance abuse forum might open your eyes a bit about what is going on. You want him to fly then it might be necessary to get him some help and put some boundaries in place before he's out of the house and totally on his own.

    I do not want to beat you up I'm sure you tried the best you could but new age parenting techniques don't work on substance abusers. Hell most of the time the only thing that might work is police involvement and court ordered treatment.

    At a minimum you need to go through his private spaces and make sure there aren't illegal substances in the house because you could be held responsible for what he has and if he has meth in the house it can condemn your home in some cases.

    I'm sorry you are going through hell, I'm pretty sure that's the only reason any of us ever find this place.