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Parent Emeritus
Does anyone remember "Goodnight, Moon"?
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 36594" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>I also have "love you Forever" and read it still with tears in my eyes.</p><p>we have not failed to be good parents. no way, we still love our kids no matter what. </p><p></p><p>what we have done is grieved over what our dream for them was. </p><p></p><p>it takes lots of time to do that. in fact, they fool us by doing well some of the time, getting our hopes up once more that they can and will be our dream child. </p><p></p><p>we lower our expectations, we lower the bar, hoping they can at least get one leg up and over it. we push from behind, we pull from the front. we try to climb over the bar in their place. we get to the other side, with them on our backs. we cannot carry them any more and we lay them down.</p><p></p><p>we sit and lick our wounds a while. </p><p></p><p>then we look at ourselves long and hard and realize we can only do so much. we look at them and still love them, and stop trying to get them to be someone they are not.</p><p></p><p>then we learn who they are and we adapt to that. still loving them.</p><p></p><p>I will love ant forever. It is a learning process to stop expecting ant to be someone he is not. that in no way takes away from the joy of lil ant. the joy of lil ant riding his bike wildly up the street, lil ant running down the sidewalk after guests leaving and making them accept his gift of a matchbox car, lil ant climbing on the counter to help make appetizers for Christmas eve. </p><p></p><p>there are good memories of his childhood. the past ten years have not been so good. that is not to say it cannot be good again. different than what I planned/hoped for him. but maybe some day an acceptable place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 36594, member: 97"] I also have "love you Forever" and read it still with tears in my eyes. we have not failed to be good parents. no way, we still love our kids no matter what. what we have done is grieved over what our dream for them was. it takes lots of time to do that. in fact, they fool us by doing well some of the time, getting our hopes up once more that they can and will be our dream child. we lower our expectations, we lower the bar, hoping they can at least get one leg up and over it. we push from behind, we pull from the front. we try to climb over the bar in their place. we get to the other side, with them on our backs. we cannot carry them any more and we lay them down. we sit and lick our wounds a while. then we look at ourselves long and hard and realize we can only do so much. we look at them and still love them, and stop trying to get them to be someone they are not. then we learn who they are and we adapt to that. still loving them. I will love ant forever. It is a learning process to stop expecting ant to be someone he is not. that in no way takes away from the joy of lil ant. the joy of lil ant riding his bike wildly up the street, lil ant running down the sidewalk after guests leaving and making them accept his gift of a matchbox car, lil ant climbing on the counter to help make appetizers for Christmas eve. there are good memories of his childhood. the past ten years have not been so good. that is not to say it cannot be good again. different than what I planned/hoped for him. but maybe some day an acceptable place. [/QUOTE]
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Does anyone remember "Goodnight, Moon"?
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