Does Peaceful Parenting Mean Letting Kids Do What They Want?

[runawaybunny]

Does Peaceful Parenting Mean Letting Kids Do What They Want? - Psychology Today

Often, parents get confused about peaceful parenting. They think that if they stop punishing, their child will do whatever he wants. But that assumes there are only two choices -- being permissive or being punitive. What about holding to your expectations while at the same time offering your child understanding, and support to meet your expectations?

Let's say you tell your child that it's time for bed, and she ignores you or says "No!" What are your choices?

 

[BloodiedButUnbowed]

Well, you can't force a child who is old enough to argue bedtimes, into falling asleep. So if it was my kid doing this, I would take away all of their devices and etc. for the night, and force them to go about their business the following day whether they were tired or not. Whether it is school, family obligations, team sports, etc.

Natural and logical consequences! You don't sleep, you're exhausted and life goes on!

 

[Pink Elephant]

Does Peaceful Parenting Mean Letting Kids Do What They Want? - Psychology Today

Often, parents get confused about peaceful parenting. They think that if they stop punishing, their child will do whatever he wants. But that assumes there are only two choices -- being permissive or being punitive. What about holding to your expectations while at the same time offering your child understanding, and support to meet your expectations?

Let's say you tell your child that it's time for bed, and she ignores you or says "No!" What are your choices?

I'm assuming you're suggesting older kids and bedtimes, but I know when my kids were younger and I told them, time for bed, and they ignored me or made a fuss, they got a spanking.

I'm all for a reasonable amount of peaceful parenting, just as I was back in the day, but when my kids would overstep those boundaries, they paid a price.

 

[Pink Elephant]

While we're on the topic, this question goes out to both you, Runawaybunny and you Culturanta, but how did you two handle bedtime woes in your homes when your kids were younger/little?

 

[KTMom91]

The hardest thing for me, when Miss KT was little, was to create a routine and stick to it. I'm not really a routines kind of person. Most of the time, the routine of bath/reading/bed worked. When it didn't, I went about my business of prepping for the next morning and basically ignoring her complaints/discomfort. Of course, the TV was off.

When she got to junior high/high school, it was logical consequences. Want to stay up till 3? You still need to get your happy butt up at 6:30 and take it to school. I was relentless on that.

 

[Pink Elephant]

The hardest thing for me, when Miss KT was little, was to create a routine and stick to it. I'm not really a routines kind of person. Most of the time, the routine of bath/reading/bed worked. When it didn't, I went about my business of prepping for the next morning and basically ignoring her complaints/discomfort. Of course, the TV was off.

When she got to junior high/high school, it was logical consequences. Want to stay up till 3? You still need to get your happy butt up at 6:30 and take it to school. I was relentless on that.

Last paragraph my was me to a T! Consequences, applied to my kids when they were much older.