A few weeks ago i wrote about my 19 yr son who was out of control and the turmoil i was in having thrown him out of the house. Since then a lot has happened and its not good. He was out for three days and i thought he was staying with a friend until one of his loser friends told me he was sleeping out. I was in shock, so i asked his friend to bring him home to talk. He had a terrible flu and was coughing so much therefore i let him stay. He said he was ready to obey rules, stop smoking pot or bring alcohol to the house, and i decided to give him a chance to prove himself - big mistake. A few days after he came back, i got a call from the bank about suspicious charges made on a credit card i had not used in a year. It seems when i threw him out, he had taken that card and had charged 1,100 dollars in a span of 3 days - i was speechless.He denied everything, but i know it was him because he knew where i kept it and the withdrawls were made a few blocks from my house. He seemed to be doing okay and following the rules for a few more days, and i tested him for all drugs which showed he was still using marijuana and negative for all others. He was coming home late all the time, sometimes not even showing up and failing to say where he was spending the night and after coming home from one of those nights, i searched his room and found a bag full of tiny ziplock bags packed with marijuana and a portable weighing scale. He said it belonged to his friend - he really thinks i am stupid at this rate. Things came to a head last week. After watching him come home in the wee hours day after day, i told him if it happened again i would lock the doors and let him spend the night where he was. So on wednesday, he came at 2.30am, doors were locked and he started banging on them which disturbed the neigbours and i had no choice but to open since he wouldn't stop. He left thursday morning and hasn't come back. Friday was his last day at the church internship he has been participating in and at the end of the day, they gave him a cheque for 5000 dollars for college. He called on sunday to say he was okay and not to bother looking for him after i had started harrassing his "friends" and threatening to call the police on them for being accomplices on pot dealing. God knows what he is doing out there with 5000 dollars, i am still stunned. My heart is breaking into pieces. I know he is probably better of out there facing the real world, because after the money is gone reality check will hit him. But i also feel like i have not done enough to help him of which i don't know what to do anymore since he refused therapy. I am trying to detach myself, and the fear and worry stresses me so much i almost went to the emergency room last night from pain. How do you go on...................?