Does your difficult child teen daughter, when Tom

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Charmedpea, Aug 2, 2008.

  1. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    comes around seems to get worse? It's almost like a pattern. When she started giving me greif last week, I didnt realize it till today.

    She said to me, hey mom you are being a temporary ODD.. haha.. I looked at her and said did you get your period yet she said yep. then I realized it was my turn soon. Everything and eveyone is pissing me off including my self. then I realized hey its that time of month. for the last couple of days she is back to her sweet self..

    Wonder if their is a connection? hmm I will have to see how long this lasts of her being sweet. Ya well until I tell her no next time. I sorta feel like trying just to see if i'm right. That would be mean though.. see i'm still waiting on tom. so i still feel evil..:sad-very::angry-very::mad::sick::faint:

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I never heard it referred to as Tom - makes perfect sense though. When my sisters and I were teenagers, we would refer to tampons as George. Our code when asking for one.

    I do think there would be a connection between Tom and behavior - it happens to many people. You just feel a little off as your body goes through this process and for a difficult child to feel off is more instense than most people.

    So, Tom has you both acting like Todd (temporary ODD)?
  3. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Time of Month.
    Her's i believe is not temporary. Mine on the other hand I have never been so grouchy in all my years of having tom.. .. I think for her the ODD makes tom that much worst. I wonder if i keep track of her's for the next couple of months to the day, and see how many outbursts their are & how many are around tom vs. other times of the month.

  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Tracking will be a great idea. If you see a pattern, maybe there is something that can be done for Toms.

    Let us know what you find out.
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I refer to difficult child (only in my mind, of course) as Medusa around her TOM. I'm afraid to make direct eye contact and just try to make myself invisible. It's not pretty. :faint: :capitulate:
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    There is a known medical connection between hormonal changes during menstruation and moodiness. Some teens with mood disorders go on birth control pills to improve this moodiness. Others need to increase their medications (such as antidepressants and atypical antipsychotics) a few days before and during their periods.
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    My difficult child isn't regular yet - she started out that way and has slid back and her GP said it takes 3-5 years to become regular. I remember learning in school that it took a year. *shrug* So, tracking it in terms of knowing when it's going to hit and prepare with medications (as if she would take them) wouldn't help us right now.

    However, I had horrible PMS that lasted about 2 weeks out of the month. I'd have days where I had to force myself to be nice to people. I'd literally push my eyebrows up and they'd go right back down into a scowl. And everything bothered me - my hair touching, my clothes touching me, people breathing....

    I guess they call that PMDD now? I'll have to keep an eye on that with difficult child. From my own personal experience, it's much worse to live it than to live with someone with it...and I say that living with a difficult child who I think experiences it, too. You just want out of your skin.

    Thankfully, I don't have a TOM anymore because of medications for endometriosis and my life (internally) has never been so calm. I think I could probably stop the lexapro and be ok, but if I stopped the aygestin I'd probably lose it again.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I never had PMT or anything like it. Period pain - yep, in spades. I paid my dues that way, instead. And absolutely no sympathy, ever - "you're a woman, you have to live with it. So shut up and get on with things." Not easy, when you're passing out all the time or simply bent double in agony. Swimming lesson today at school? No excuse. Mother won't let you use tampons? So what? Get in that pool, girl!
    I remember my teetotal mother would reach for the brandy bottle when I got the "faints".

    But no PMT. So it was a shock, when both daughters showed signs of PMT. sister in law gets PMT as well. And especially with easy child 2/difficult child 2, when she gets the PMT, she's impossible to deal with. Instead of almost impossible.

    However, as she's moved out of home she's currently NMP (not my problem). Yay!

  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Oh just wait!

    When she gets a little older and more regular, there is a very good chance that the two of you will end up on the same schedule. Not sure why, but females in the same household often do that.

    husband and son will want to move out during that week!
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My easy child turns into a different (not good) person around her TOM.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is common for females in sorority houses, dorms, etc to ALL have periods at the same time. The last research I read about it (several years ago) said it was thought to be pheromones that caused this. So chances are you and daughter WILL have your TOM at the same time.

    One positive thing about seeing this early is that you can help your daughter learn to cope. Talking with-her when it is NOT her TOM about how to cope might be effective?

    Hugs, this is rough for any family to adjust to. It must be much worse iwth a child with mental illness also!
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Absolutely! Miss KT was worse than usual for about a week before. I used to tell her I thought she has Reverse PMS because she was only nice one week out of the month.
  13. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member