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Substance Abuse
Don’t want to be an enabler but....
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 728915" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Hi Broken-Hearted, and welcome. I am sorry you had to find us but glad you did.</p><p></p><p>If a few minor details were changed, I could have written your post.</p><p></p><p>After 10+ years of going through it, I finally reached the conclusion that theft, lies, and roller coasters are not anything we need to tolerate, and certainly not under our own roofs.</p><p></p><p>I think your decision to not bail your son out is very wise, and I think your son being mad about it is a very good first step. Let him be mad that you will no longer help him destroy himself. Then he will have no one else to blame for his destruction.</p><p></p><p>The truth of it is, he will have no job, no place to stay, no insurance, and more arrests as long as he keeps using meth. The less you do to shield him from the natural consequences of using, the sooner he will realize this.</p><p></p><p>My son was arrested for meth possession. His bail was $200, but we did not bail him out. He was in jail for over a month while his public defender negotiated a plea deal. My son then entered a sober living program with a very low tolerance for BS. He is now 7 months into the year-long program and is doing very well, but the truth is it took a month in jail and another 3 or 4 months of forced sobriety before he even started to think clearly.</p><p></p><p>I do understand your concerns about your son being able to work without transportation, but maybe he should focus on getting off meth first. Until this changes, nothing changes.</p><p></p><p>Will the jail help him find a residential sober living program? My son's requires him to work so he can pay his own way, but they also helped him find a job close to the center.</p><p></p><p>More parents will be along soon. We all understand the roller coaster. Keep posting. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 728915, member: 17720"] Hi Broken-Hearted, and welcome. I am sorry you had to find us but glad you did. If a few minor details were changed, I could have written your post. After 10+ years of going through it, I finally reached the conclusion that theft, lies, and roller coasters are not anything we need to tolerate, and certainly not under our own roofs. I think your decision to not bail your son out is very wise, and I think your son being mad about it is a very good first step. Let him be mad that you will no longer help him destroy himself. Then he will have no one else to blame for his destruction. The truth of it is, he will have no job, no place to stay, no insurance, and more arrests as long as he keeps using meth. The less you do to shield him from the natural consequences of using, the sooner he will realize this. My son was arrested for meth possession. His bail was $200, but we did not bail him out. He was in jail for over a month while his public defender negotiated a plea deal. My son then entered a sober living program with a very low tolerance for BS. He is now 7 months into the year-long program and is doing very well, but the truth is it took a month in jail and another 3 or 4 months of forced sobriety before he even started to think clearly. I do understand your concerns about your son being able to work without transportation, but maybe he should focus on getting off meth first. Until this changes, nothing changes. Will the jail help him find a residential sober living program? My son's requires him to work so he can pay his own way, but they also helped him find a job close to the center. More parents will be along soon. We all understand the roller coaster. Keep posting. It helps. [/QUOTE]
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