Well I am officially done with all the craziness. husband, me and our case manager went to court yesterday for difficult child's truancy for cutting 2 classes. husband spoke to the Judge for about 45 minutes and told him everything. The Judge found difficult child guilty and was referring this case to superior court and will speak to that Judge personally. difficult child also has to appear in front of the Judge from yesterday on May 18 and have better improved his grades and we the parents will have to let the judge know if we think he is just doing the work to shut the judge up and he will sentence him to juvie if he does not improve. Now this morning we had our CFT (child and family team meeting). This meeting was to determine difficult child's discharge. This was such a joke and waste of time. I wound up getting slammed by the group home manager who told me that I am just so negative towards difficult child. After hearing and feeling like a punching bag, I could feel the tears coming so I excused myself from the meeting and went outside. After composing myself I went back inside and stated that I am now DONE!!!! You all sit hear in judgement of us but ignore the diagnosis the doctor gave him. Your all seeing the fustration and anger that difficult child has caused, and your all forgetting the extensive record that difficult child has of hurting animals, fire starting, running away, prostitution physcial abuse towards his mother father and brother. Your all forgetting that he came to us with school records of threats of killing other children. So when he is released if something happens to someone or someones child I will hold as many interviews saying all your names and say that you all felt that it was normal childhood behavior. I pray you can live with yourselves with your decisions. By the time I got to my car I was so hysterical that I had to pull out of the group home to the side of the road and just sob for almost 1 hour. How can this happen I just don't understand. How can a child manipulate all these so called professionals. The DR was on the phone and stated that I am right to feel this way, as he too feels that difficult child is a threat to all of us and society. I spoke to husband and told him that he is going to be discharged from the group home and have no choice but to allow him to come home or not pick him up and allow cps to take him, so we could face charges of abandoment and neglect. So I told husband that I will be moving out, and I have caved tooooooooo many times and that enough is enough. His own mother dosent want him why do I have to go through this pain and suffering. I just feel that its always us who are being judged and never difficult child. So husband understands that Im leaving so I now have about 20 days to find a place to live and come up with rent and deposit. I don't know where everyone finds the courage to go on because I feel so empty now. I don't have any desire to do anything for husband or difficult child. My son has suffered long enough. We have done everything possible to get help to no avail. Thank you for listening to me rant. I truly admire you warrior moms for doing what you do and feel you are truly special for being able to push through everyday good or bad. I myself don't have that kind of stamina anymore. I am just beaten to the ground and don't want to get up anymore. Thank you all again..