Done, done, done!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MichelleLynnFl, Aug 1, 2017.

  1. Hello friends, I am finally done with my daughter. One of our house rules is no smoking. Not a big deal to many but, with my lung issues it's serious. Even when she gets bronchitis every year I get sick with it too....badly.

    She agreed to this rule and all our others twice now. I have suspected she has been smoking but she has denied/lies about it each time. Tonight I caught her on the side of the house smoking.

    We came inside and I told her...BRING THE REST OUT AND PUT THEM IN THE GARBAGE! She went into her room and refused, said she paid for them.

    She was calling all sorts of people from her room and about 15 minutes later a female cop shows up at my door! How embarrassing infront of all our neighbors!

    Long story short the cop told us both...your parents have the ultimate, final power. Your 25, they owe nothing to you. The cop tried to break it down that many rentals do not allow smoking. My daughter said but many do. The cop said, well go rent one then! The cop offered that we try a little leeway and let her smoke down the street. I said no thank you as she does not understand if we give in a little, my daughter takes it all. Not going now that road again.

    My daughter tells me she found a place to go, it's my decision. I said NO. It's yours, rules are still the same, you know what the cop said.

    Tomorrow I must go down to the courthouse and file an eviction. Cannot just throw her out on the street. I cannot go to Busch Gardens now as it's going to cost about $500. to do so.

    This is the final straw. She called the cops on me!! When all we do is try to help her. No more. I am beyond furious!
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    I am so sorry for the humiliation. And I am glad the police put your daughter in her place. Her attitude is not one of gratitude. It's high time she sorted things out for herself.

    P.S. I would just lock her out and tell the police she left of her own accord and refuses to abide by the family and house rules so you won't let her come back home. Save your $500 and go to Busch Gardens. Her word against yours and you have the police report to prove it.
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  3. Thank you so much for your kind words! Per the woman cop I cannot even take her bedroom door off, in our own house without getting into trouble. Will do it how the law says, she is sneaky so could record us and we don't know it... I want to live life on the outside of the bars, not in them.

    Am changing my phone numbers, changing the house locks. She does not have a key but, will feel better changing them anyhow.

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  4. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Yes, it's her choice. Your house, your rules. At least now you know where she stands the next time she asks you to provide a place to stay.

    I agree, best to do it legally so it doesn't come back to bite you.

    I'm sorry you are going thru this.
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  5. Thank you so very much! Supposedly she is setting it up with someone tomorrow to leave. I still have to file eviction just so it's legal. Even though there is no lease, I mean she is a family member after all, still have to go through the same channels.

  6. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Be sure to remember this next time she's begging to get back in. If she called the cops on me for enforcing rules in my house, she would never cross the threshold again.
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  7. mamato3

    mamato3 Member

    Jeez... I didn't realize you couldn't kick someone out of your own home. I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this and that your daughter is unwilling to follow your rules.
  8. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    There are different rules in each state. Here if they move out you don't need to evict them.
  9. She is pretty bothered as I told her I am not communicating with her after she is gone. Changing all of our phone numbers and the eviction comes with a no trespassing order as well. Have had it, no more.

    I called the cops to see if I can get her out tonight. Waiting on a call back. She thinks now she has the upper hand and is smoking cigs, and it's really getting to my lungs.

    Cop just called back and there is nothing I can do tonight. Have to start eviction in the morning. Hope she makes a decision and goes to this place in the morning.

    Thank you so much.

  10. Yes, in our state we cannot just throw them out on the streets. Even with having no lease with her we have to act as a landlord and evict her.

    Thank you, I am glad there are so many of you kind folks out there.

  11. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    Yup...that's the entitled person she is. Cant do your rules...then she cant stay in your house. You have every reason to be angry and I agree no contact for a while would be a good thing. I am sorry it has come to this but right now focus on saving YOUR life and YOUR sanity. These kids just don't get it and don't really care. One day they may. But until then its up to you to take are of yourself! Hugs....I know this is really really hard!
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    She is a woman at age 25 and you no longer have to house her or pay her bills. She is able bodied? Then she can work. If she chooses not to work, she obviously doesnt mind having a tough life without luxuries. It is her decision.

    I dont allow smoking in my house or even near me. Smokers usually dont realize the effects smoke has on non smokers... the parched throat, the watery eyes, the ability to cause health problems by second hand smoke. They often feel just blowing tje smoke in another direction solves the problem.

    Wrong. Smoke clings to the atmosphere for a long time. I dont judge others for smoking, but I do protect myself from their habit, which is my right. Fortunately nobody in my family smokes, but this boundary would apply to them too.

    Your daughter needs to stand on her own, even if she refuses to be productive, which is a choice. You cant live forever. Take care of YOU now. Your parenting of little helpless kids is done. We never signed up to parent and support rude adults well into their mid 20s and beyond.
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  13. My daughter has applied to several jobs and had a few interviews, no one wants to hire her with a criminal record. She has no transportation and I have taken her here and there. It's being listed as a felony and that's where employers stop. She has a paper, if it gets past the initial screening, that says it has been downgraded as misdemeanor.

    I went to the courthouse this morning to start the eviction. No easy task, they make it hard for those of us who do right! First a complaint has to be filed, they will not help at all in deciding which form to use. The three forms available for eviction do not apply to our situation...damage, possession of property and I forget the 3rd. Referred to legal services. Legal services said because they are a non profit agency, because we accepted money from her....some of which was money paying back the 3 thousand she owes us...we are now landlords. They referred me to a lawyer. Waiting on a call back for a consultation appointment of 30 minutes for $25.00. Supposedly they will tell us which forms to file ourselves. Sounds way too easy. Then a 3 day eviction will cost another $280. - $300.

    I plan on going as far with this as I can. Not having much money though, not sure what I can do.

    If anyone has a direction, please help. We live in Citrus County Florida.

    Thank you.
  14. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    In Texas if they move out on their own, then you do not need to file an eviction. All you need to do is make sure not so much as a scrap of their personal property is in the home or on the grounds and then change the locks.

    You should be able to look up the eviction process for your county on the county website.
  15. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    In Illinois we also have to file an eviction notice.

    We did not have to do that with our son since he chose rehab but that is a good reason I will not let him come home ever again.

    I could not go through that stress of having him leave again.

    One of the worst things ever.

    You are doing the right thing. She is out of control.

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  16. I have an appointment with a lawyer for 30 minute consultation $25.00. To file the paperwork and have papers served will be another $90. Then if it gets to eviction she said a retainer of at least a thousand is needed. I said whoa! I can do the first two but don't have a thousand dollars to do the eviction.

    Will let them file the papers and see where it goes. It's only $115. RIGHT? *cries*
    Money that could been spent on much better things.

    Not sure on the laws if she leaves herself, will ask the lawyer.

    One things for sure. I needed to go grocery shopping as there is a little food in the house. When it's gone, no more food. She will need to get her own.
  17. She does have a lot of items in her bedroom. The cop told me after eviction, whatever's left, can legally go to the curb.

  18. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    In Illinois if you do it on your own it's like $250 or something. Geez!
  19. Florida is so expensive. I am willing to spend 3 hundred tops, it's all we have right now. And that's to do it on our own. All because I accepted money from her for 1 month!! $150. of the money she paid was a portion of the 3 thousand she owes us.

  20. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    You can check Nolo Press; it's a company out of Berkeley, CA that specializes in legal forms. There might be something there that will work for you. Good luck.