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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 642692" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Sorry my advice is to just say NO! difficult child needs to get used to you using this "NO" big word. I am assuming that you already have in place, plans that do not include her, since these events about her getting moved happened so late. I think asking you to drop everything so she can have a visit with her son is in fact telling her that you will continue to drop everything when she asks you to. Also DGS is not old enough to understand what "missing mommy" at Christmas means - to him it will just be a fun filled day, nothing "different". Start this new direction in her life, by not being pushed into last minute choices because of her requests. I am sure she will be shocked when you say no AND I think that is exactly where you want her to start out in this new program - understanding that things "at home", people, places, things, responsibility (or lack there of) and such are not going to be the same anymore. She will have next Christmas, when she has earned the right back, to be with her son. If it were me I would at least give her being in the program 30 days - she needs to know that this new program must be taken seriously and no matter how she tries to guilt you, manipulate or use you - you are no longer there for her or DGS to be used. If she can Skype, maybe I would allow a few minutes of that depending on how you feel about giving into her needs. (This is not about Connor's needs at all, he is too young)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 642692, member: 18366"] Sorry my advice is to just say NO! difficult child needs to get used to you using this "NO" big word. I am assuming that you already have in place, plans that do not include her, since these events about her getting moved happened so late. I think asking you to drop everything so she can have a visit with her son is in fact telling her that you will continue to drop everything when she asks you to. Also DGS is not old enough to understand what "missing mommy" at Christmas means - to him it will just be a fun filled day, nothing "different". Start this new direction in her life, by not being pushed into last minute choices because of her requests. I am sure she will be shocked when you say no AND I think that is exactly where you want her to start out in this new program - understanding that things "at home", people, places, things, responsibility (or lack there of) and such are not going to be the same anymore. She will have next Christmas, when she has earned the right back, to be with her son. If it were me I would at least give her being in the program 30 days - she needs to know that this new program must be taken seriously and no matter how she tries to guilt you, manipulate or use you - you are no longer there for her or DGS to be used. If she can Skype, maybe I would allow a few minutes of that depending on how you feel about giving into her needs. (This is not about Connor's needs at all, he is too young) [/QUOTE]
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