I am new to this website. I don't know what to do about my 20 year old anymore. He has always been difficult but a little more than a year ago we saw a change in his personality for the worse leading up to him being arrested. He ended up getting arrested when his "friend" stole a car and then the next came and picked up my son and then another boy. It turned out they went to a store where the owner of the car saw her car and called the police. The other two boys ran and my son was arrested. He had marijuana on him. Luckily the police knew when the car was stolen and since our son was with us we know he wasn't directly involved in stealing the car. He ended up being charged with possession of stolen property with a $15,000 bail. Right or wrong we ended up bailing him out. For the past year he has been doing everything pretty much right. He worked full time, went to school part time, paid us back for his legal expense, did his chores around the house, was clean, and kept us in the loop where he was. He recently had to start group drug counseling he initially didn't want go but once he got there he didn't seem to mind it. Very quickly after he started we started seeing the behavior we had seen leading up to his arrest. It culminated with after him coming home after not coming home all night and my husband did a drug test that came up positive for ectasy and opiates. He then told us he was moving out and we couldn't stop him. He told us we could call the police and they would tell us that we can't stop him, When he said that both my husband and I knew someone was telling him this its just not the way my son thinks. He left. A few days later at 6:00am the police ring our doorbell with my son. They tell us someone called the police because they thought he was trying to steal their car but they think it was just that he was so drunk that he didn't realize he had the wrong car. He left the house the next day refusing to talk to us. We talked to his boss who loved him. His boss tried to talk him and he simply didn't come back to work the next day and never picked up his paycheck. We went to his drug counseling and he did show up for the appointment but the boy who stole the car brought my son and went into the counseling with him. My son refused to tell us where he is living though I suspect it is with this boy. Sigh I don't know if I should call the counseling place his or his probation officer or just stay out of it. In this care I am 99% sure that this "counseling" is how he hooked up again with this thief and was the worst possible thing for him. If he stays with this other boy I am sure that we will be out $15K for the bail because it is just a matter of when he will be arrested rather than if. I also don't see how we could have our older child come back to our house. We have a 14 year easy child who is a straight A all honors classes student with the friends parents dream of their children having and I don't want anymore of this in his life. I have a fear of the police coming to the house looking for older son when the younger one is by himself. Also I have fear of what this other boy is capable of. Another "friend" who I suspect might be a drug dealer has told us that he is really bad news and when my son was arrested the police told us he is really really bad news.