Don't know what to do with myself

Discussion in 'Healthful Living / Natural Treatments' started by Loving Abbey 2, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. Loving Abbey 2

    Loving Abbey 2 Not really a Newbie

    difficult child is in psychiatric hospital (see thread on general for details if needed) and I don't know what to do with myself. I just sit around being bored but I don't know what to do. Now I know someone out there has some positive things I could be doing. I don't want to sit at home and eat myself or starve myself to death or drink wine or any of those other alone and miserable activities. I don't have a lot of friends or family and i am visiting with them when I can, but man there must be something besides staring at the walls and thinking of nothing but difficult child in the psychiatric hospital.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think one key is beginning the day in a postive note. For me that means giving thanks upon waking for opening my eyes and having the ability to put my feet on the floor. Express hope that the this time you and difficult child are seperated will be a time of positive change for her and one that will build a strong relationship between the two of you. This begins the day with a postive thought.

    I'm sorry that I don't remember, but do you work outside the home? If not, begin the day with a nice long walk. Whether you live in the city, country, or somewhere inbetween, there are things you can take in that you might not have noticed before when you walk.

    If you do work outside the home, come home and walk in the evening. now that it is lighter for a longer period of time, you can fit it in before dark.

    Sometimes, at least for me, by beginning the day with positive thoughts and thanks for what I do have good in my life followed with something good for me, allows me to to accomplish more during the day. It gives me the incentive to clean the fridge, or do a few scrapbook pages, or do some gardening, or tackle some sewing. It makes me more productive at the office on the two days I work. It makes me a little happier.

    How about going in and cleaning out difficult child's closet and drawers or sorting through her toys? For me, that could take a couple days!! What about a project for her - maybe a quilt for her bed or a photo alblum of the two of you. It will channel your thoughts in a good way.

    If you enjoy cooking, how about trying two or three new recipes a week. Research some things you've never tried before and have fun experimenting.

    I hope you are able to find some things that help you recharge during this time so you are your best when Abbey returns.

  3. KateM

    KateM Member

    I like all of LDM's ideas. Here's a few more.

    Is there any little project you've been putting off because of lack of time? Any small change that would give you purpose and a feeling of accomplishment? It could be anything that appeals to you -- creating a floral centerpiece, making a wreath for the door, painting a room.

    One of my favorite things to do is read. I love getting lost in a good book. I joined a book club a few years ago and really look forward to our monthly meetings. There's been a few threads in the Watercooler about book recommendations (" What are you reading " may be the title of one of the threads)

    Another idea is to invite a friend over for lunch/dinner. That gets me motivated to having my home look its best, as well as get creative in the kitchen.An alternative, if you enjoy cooking/baking, is to make casseroles for homeless shelters or to donate to a food pantry.
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I don't know what will work for you but I am better with a routine and a plan.
    Start a daily walk or coffee and the newspaper. Whatever makes you feel recharged.
    Believe me Abbey isn't pining for you. been there done that.
    Make your time a productive, healing, recharging time. Use this time as Abbey is supposed to use her hospital time. Try to get on an even keel with how you want your life to be when she gets home.

    Take a nap. Read a book. Just appreciate the calm. You don't want to get addicted to Abbey's chaos. It can happen easily. It kicks in the adrenaline and you become super mom. You want to be a person as well as a harried mom of a difficult child.

    Take a date night if there is someone special in your life.
    What do you want to do with your time? On the day of difficult child's discharge, what will you have wanted to accomplish.

    Maybe vegging all day is something you will enjoy. A matinee movie is another option.
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I really like what the folks have said here. Use this time to look within yourself to recuperate or rediscover any personal needs/wants you have placed on the back burner. In the end, you will be a much better parent, if you are a happier one. So, it is in your best interest to take the actions needed to find your interests and to find what brings you joy. Also, are you working at this time? Have you explored getting the skills you might need to go back into the workforce at some future time? You might use this time to see what is out there. If you need a day or two to "veg" out...that's perfectly fine as well.

    Sometimes it is good to get out of the house. I personally believe in at least getting in some moderate exercise and eating in a healthy manner. For thinking issues...there is a little yellow book called "Happier" that I think is might want to take a look at the library. Wishing you and your child well.
  6. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Think of things that you want to do and have put off, such as a craft or painting a room in your house, then go out and get the stuff and do it. I get the occasional paint by number and fill in my time, and easy child likes to get my "artwork" when I'm done LOL. Or think of things that interest you, then go take a class such as a knitting class, or cooking class (they have them to teach you to cook more heathy as well here). If you have a University/College near you, you can sit in on some of the classes/lectures, just check with the registrar's office. Here there's a small fee, but you don't have to buy the books or take tests. My husband has monitored a couple of the classes here on archeology, plus had a couple hour+ convos with the prof. on that subject. If he monitored enough he could have gone on digs with him, but work/life interrupted. Go to old folks homes during visiting hours and just sit and talk to the people there, play a game of cards or two. So many don't get visitors and just love to talk to people. Many have great stories about their lives and past. Just call the local homes and talk to the nurses/attendants. My sis has done this and it brightened up a lot of days for people.

    I'm just counting the time until easy child is old enough to leave alone, and I'm planning on joining some clubs etc. I've recently got back into doing needle crafts, have told easy child I'm not her entertainment director and she's pretty good now of getting things for herself.

    Take this time to do what you want, even if it's just relaxing in a bubble bath with a book you've been meaning to read.
  7. Loving Abbey 2

    Loving Abbey 2 Not really a Newbie

    Thanks for all the good ideas. I have planned to go out tomorrow to visit with some friends I haven't seen for a while. I know taking care of myself is good for Abbey because I need to be strong when she is ready to come home. It's just hard for me to get myself to do good stuff for me. I'm going to try though. I would like to get some painting in and read some more of a book I have been working on. I'm also going to schedule to see my therapist really soon.