Don't know what to
- Thread starter Wiped Out
- Start date
graceupongrace
New Member
WO,
Glad the meeting went so well. Getting teenagers to lose their sense of entitlement and accept responsibility for their choices is one of the hardest -- and most important -- lessons they have to learn. I'll bet easy child also saw that once she had a chance to sleep on the situation, things weren't so bad as they seemed "in the moment." (We're still working on those things in our house!)
That sounds like a great program for easy child.
((hugs))
Glad the meeting went so well. Getting teenagers to lose their sense of entitlement and accept responsibility for their choices is one of the hardest -- and most important -- lessons they have to learn. I'll bet easy child also saw that once she had a chance to sleep on the situation, things weren't so bad as they seemed "in the moment." (We're still working on those things in our house!)
That sounds like a great program for easy child.
((hugs))
Star*
call 911........call 911
Hi WO,
I think you've gotten some very good suggestions from the other ladies here. I know the oddest thing that I have to consider when I want to rush in or pull back with Dude is to try to look at him like he is NOT my son. The reason I do that is because when I look at any situation like he IS my son I let my emotions rule, I let my BUT you don't know him and his needs Mom thing - get in the way of what is and would be the BEST advice for him. The but you don't know him and his needs thing - is not always the best. Yes you feel sorry for them, yes you want to explain their shortcomings and disabilities to the world, no it is not fair that they always seem to get cheated out of all the stuff other kids get - BUT - the world is NOT going to be like a Mom to them. The world is going to pick them up - look them square in the eye and say "YUP - this is what's going to happen like it or not" and some times or rather more times than not it is US as parents who have a harder time learning THAT lesson than our kids because we've spent SO MUCH TIME shielding and protecting and explaining and being warrior Mom - we forget that our kids while different NEED to be just as normal as any other kid - and there we go MAKING them - NOT normal.
Hardest lesson I've had to learn so far I think...that my son wants to be just as normal as other kids whether I want him to be or not.
And you know what REALLY stinks about that lesson? By the time I'm done fretting and worrying and being upset about MY decision in it all? Emo kid has moved on to 15 other things so when I say "Okay I want to talk about that problem; you know that one where you were so upset?" He looks at me like I have a third eye ball and emerging horn buds and says "Oh that? Yeah well I'm over that like fifty hours ago, NOW what is really bothering me is I need 50 bucks for shoes." and then I really wish I had just let him work things out on his own and BOUGHT that really cute Pez dispenser for my Welbutrin." Know what I mean??
I think you've gotten some very good suggestions from the other ladies here. I know the oddest thing that I have to consider when I want to rush in or pull back with Dude is to try to look at him like he is NOT my son. The reason I do that is because when I look at any situation like he IS my son I let my emotions rule, I let my BUT you don't know him and his needs Mom thing - get in the way of what is and would be the BEST advice for him. The but you don't know him and his needs thing - is not always the best. Yes you feel sorry for them, yes you want to explain their shortcomings and disabilities to the world, no it is not fair that they always seem to get cheated out of all the stuff other kids get - BUT - the world is NOT going to be like a Mom to them. The world is going to pick them up - look them square in the eye and say "YUP - this is what's going to happen like it or not" and some times or rather more times than not it is US as parents who have a harder time learning THAT lesson than our kids because we've spent SO MUCH TIME shielding and protecting and explaining and being warrior Mom - we forget that our kids while different NEED to be just as normal as any other kid - and there we go MAKING them - NOT normal.
Hardest lesson I've had to learn so far I think...that my son wants to be just as normal as other kids whether I want him to be or not.
And you know what REALLY stinks about that lesson? By the time I'm done fretting and worrying and being upset about MY decision in it all? Emo kid has moved on to 15 other things so when I say "Okay I want to talk about that problem; you know that one where you were so upset?" He looks at me like I have a third eye ball and emerging horn buds and says "Oh that? Yeah well I'm over that like fifty hours ago, NOW what is really bothering me is I need 50 bucks for shoes." and then I really wish I had just let him work things out on his own and BOUGHT that really cute Pez dispenser for my Welbutrin." Know what I mean??
SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
Sharon,
I think the situation was handled extremely well at the meeting. The positive in all of this is that there is nothing like real life experiences and the resulting consequences to teach our kids what "real life" is like. Hopefully, this experience will help your easy child mature.
And, what a gift - being told how "huggable" you are!!! This is absolutely priceless!!! Definitely a moment to cherish...
I'll be sending positive thoughts your way that your easy child does well this week.
Hugs, SFR
I think the situation was handled extremely well at the meeting. The positive in all of this is that there is nothing like real life experiences and the resulting consequences to teach our kids what "real life" is like. Hopefully, this experience will help your easy child mature.
And, what a gift - being told how "huggable" you are!!! This is absolutely priceless!!! Definitely a moment to cherish...
I'll be sending positive thoughts your way that your easy child does well this week.
Hugs, SFR
