A friend on FB just posted this. Interesting and disturbingly relevant to what we on this forum are dealing with.
hat is why the imagery in the phrase you posted doesn't work for me.
I don't think moms have a choice.
Even now, I don't see detachment as something that ~ as a kind of judgment call about what either of my kids are doing.
I am still trying to save them.
Mom's have a choice, same as the dad's. It just seems to be much more difficult for the mom's to separate themselves from the children. Its not a weakness or a strength, its simply how mothers are wired.
Jabs, in your case that is true. But it isn't always the case. There are many neglectful mothers and abuse is most often at the hands of mothers. I did foster care and most of the kids ended up there because of abusive and neglectful mothers on drugs. There are many neglectful moms these days with work and divorce and "I have to be good to ME and my kids will have to deal with it" attitudes. While I agree with the latter once the kids are grown, I really don't think that this is appropriate thinking with minor/young children.Mom's have a choice, same as the dad's. It just seems to be much more difficult for the mom's to separate themselves from the children. Its not a weakness or a strength, its simply how mothers are wired.
(I have had to. D H says automatic NO. And he doesn't agonize over it.
I suffered less over the things that happened to my son because, even in the worst of it, he had a male's focus and determination.