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Parent Emeritus
Don't think I can do it anymore.
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 696547" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Zin. I'm so sorry for your pain. "No fair" as the kids say. I totally agree with COM's words. This also helped us-it didn't change our son's behavior-but it changed us. We slowly felt safe again in our own home as we developed boundaries.</p><p></p><p>This is the crux in my opinion. You are exhausted and we all get that. Try to take a little power back, set a boundary. I'm sure you have expressed to him multiple times what was expected to live in your home (we had 3 rules, no one else in, no alcohol/drugs, no taking what isn't yours) Our son broke all these. I think finding that he'd gone through my dresser for $ was the worst. So violated. So when he came home, having been gone for a week without contact, we had his things packed up. It was ugly and within 24 hr. all the begging started. It was the hardest ever. But, our house felt a bit of peace if we just tried to ignore texts/calls. The peace grew and I got less crazy. The PTSD of the previous years will remain but through counseling and al-anon and mainly this site, I'm getting better. You can too. You said what you've been doing is not working. Maybe it's time to try something new? I know how totally enveloping this can be, but you matter too. It seems YOU have been unable to save him but you can save yourself...and just maybe if you draw a line, HE will figure it out. Hugs and more hugs to you today, there are so many who have been where you're at and we lived. We did. Be strong today. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 696547, member: 20054"] Hi Zin. I'm so sorry for your pain. "No fair" as the kids say. I totally agree with COM's words. This also helped us-it didn't change our son's behavior-but it changed us. We slowly felt safe again in our own home as we developed boundaries. This is the crux in my opinion. You are exhausted and we all get that. Try to take a little power back, set a boundary. I'm sure you have expressed to him multiple times what was expected to live in your home (we had 3 rules, no one else in, no alcohol/drugs, no taking what isn't yours) Our son broke all these. I think finding that he'd gone through my dresser for $ was the worst. So violated. So when he came home, having been gone for a week without contact, we had his things packed up. It was ugly and within 24 hr. all the begging started. It was the hardest ever. But, our house felt a bit of peace if we just tried to ignore texts/calls. The peace grew and I got less crazy. The PTSD of the previous years will remain but through counseling and al-anon and mainly this site, I'm getting better. You can too. You said what you've been doing is not working. Maybe it's time to try something new? I know how totally enveloping this can be, but you matter too. It seems YOU have been unable to save him but you can save yourself...and just maybe if you draw a line, HE will figure it out. Hugs and more hugs to you today, there are so many who have been where you're at and we lived. We did. Be strong today. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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