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Parent Emeritus
Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654188" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My own .02. Take what you like and leave the rest. To my mind, you should not be managing her legal problems. You have told her the date. She probably knows the date all too well. It is not your fault to get her to court on time if she will actually even go.</p><p></p><p>She is safer in jail than on the streets and she may straighten out there. I'm not going to say I've read THAT many stories of people getting straight in jajil, but there are a few. The life she is living can literally get her killed. She apparently has no fear of the legal system. She needs to fear it. I would never post bail for her. She's only going to get into more trouble. Are you that rich?</p><p></p><p>She doesn't need a cell phone to have access to a phone. She can borrow anyone's phone or even go to a library or some store and ask to use a phone and get use of one to find out when she should appear in court, if it matters to her. She knows she is being looked for. If she doesn't find out, it's because she doesn't want to know. If you tell her, as you said, she will not only not go, but probably give you an earful of hate for trying to help her do the right thing. She does not sound ready to do the right thing.</p><p></p><p>With all the ups and downs you thought of, it all comes out neutral. Nothing is good. Nothing is bad. It is really up to her to straighten out. So, without any clearcut good to getting her out of trouble, is it so bad to let her face adult consequences to serious crimes? I'd let it go and let her handle it. She may learn something.</p><p></p><p>Read our stories as well as the archives. See how futile it is to bail them out and rescue them.</p><p></p><p>You are not alone though. We are all here for you and hope she does the right thing.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Hugs for your confused and hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654188, member: 1550"] My own .02. Take what you like and leave the rest. To my mind, you should not be managing her legal problems. You have told her the date. She probably knows the date all too well. It is not your fault to get her to court on time if she will actually even go. She is safer in jail than on the streets and she may straighten out there. I'm not going to say I've read THAT many stories of people getting straight in jajil, but there are a few. The life she is living can literally get her killed. She apparently has no fear of the legal system. She needs to fear it. I would never post bail for her. She's only going to get into more trouble. Are you that rich? She doesn't need a cell phone to have access to a phone. She can borrow anyone's phone or even go to a library or some store and ask to use a phone and get use of one to find out when she should appear in court, if it matters to her. She knows she is being looked for. If she doesn't find out, it's because she doesn't want to know. If you tell her, as you said, she will not only not go, but probably give you an earful of hate for trying to help her do the right thing. She does not sound ready to do the right thing. With all the ups and downs you thought of, it all comes out neutral. Nothing is good. Nothing is bad. It is really up to her to straighten out. So, without any clearcut good to getting her out of trouble, is it so bad to let her face adult consequences to serious crimes? I'd let it go and let her handle it. She may learn something. Read our stories as well as the archives. See how futile it is to bail them out and rescue them. You are not alone though. We are all here for you and hope she does the right thing. Hugs for your confused and hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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