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Parent Emeritus
Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 654223" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I guess if it were me, I'd ask myself <em><strong>why</strong></em> I want to give her the court information. Is it to assuage your own guilt, or is it because you're hoping she'll have a light-bulb moment and "do the right thing" and actually go to court? If you're doing it for yourself, and it will make you feel better, then I agree with telling her - and then letting it go. I'd be very cautious of doing it with any hope of a behavior change in her - because that's unlikely.</p><p></p><p>This is something I've taught myself when I 'm in these kinds of situations - checking my motives. If my motives include any hope of influencing the other person's behavior, it's a sign to me that I'm probably heading down the wrong path. Sometimes, though, we need to do things to help us let go - in other words, "well, I provided the information, she can't say I withheld it from her. Now it's on her." It can be a slippery slope, I know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 654223, member: 1157"] I guess if it were me, I'd ask myself [I][B]why[/B][/I] I want to give her the court information. Is it to assuage your own guilt, or is it because you're hoping she'll have a light-bulb moment and "do the right thing" and actually go to court? If you're doing it for yourself, and it will make you feel better, then I agree with telling her - and then letting it go. I'd be very cautious of doing it with any hope of a behavior change in her - because that's unlikely. This is something I've taught myself when I 'm in these kinds of situations - checking my motives. If my motives include any hope of influencing the other person's behavior, it's a sign to me that I'm probably heading down the wrong path. Sometimes, though, we need to do things to help us let go - in other words, "well, I provided the information, she can't say I withheld it from her. Now it's on her." It can be a slippery slope, I know. [/QUOTE]
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Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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