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Parent Emeritus
Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 654239" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>There is a foundational saying in Al-Anon that really helped me when I was struggling with things like this: </p><p></p><p>Say something one time. If you say it more than one time, you are trying to control the situation.</p><p></p><p>As time went on, I was able to even get beyond that at times. Often, the things I want to say...one time...ARE controlling...even that one time.</p><p></p><p>CrazyinVA is so right about motives. I also learned that in Al-Anon. What is my motive in dealing with other people? </p><p></p><p>To control what they do was often the motive. </p><p></p><p>I know...it's ugly. But if we can't admit what we did/do, we can never change what we did/do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 654239, member: 17542"] There is a foundational saying in Al-Anon that really helped me when I was struggling with things like this: Say something one time. If you say it more than one time, you are trying to control the situation. As time went on, I was able to even get beyond that at times. Often, the things I want to say...one time...ARE controlling...even that one time. CrazyinVA is so right about motives. I also learned that in Al-Anon. What is my motive in dealing with other people? To control what they do was often the motive. I know...it's ugly. But if we can't admit what we did/do, we can never change what we did/do. [/QUOTE]
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Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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