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Parent Emeritus
Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654261" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>WearyMom, your daughter is obviously deep in Deep Heaven. Does she make sense? No. Does it work for her? YES! Whatever she has said, you have felt sorry for her for so she has gotten her means to her end, often probably money she asked for saying she is starving. The money probably helped her buy drugs. We are fools. Not you. We. All of us. At least at first. It takes some longer than others to catch on that NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING we do, nor our hurting hearts, will help our adult child one wit. COM has often said if we care more than THEY do, it is hopeless. You care more than her. Right now, it is hopeless. Jail may actually make her stop the drug use, at least while she is locked up. How is that bad?</p><p></p><p>My guess is she got mushy with you because she either knows she will go to jail after she is caught or she thinks she will be able to run to beat the system forever. Neither will happen. Do not think of her as that adorable little baby you gave birth to who cooed at you. Don't think of her as the ten year old who picked you dandelions because she loves you. I had trouble seperating my child from the adult.</p><p></p><p>Drugs are ugly. You can not help. When it comes to addiction, there is only one person in the world who can stop anyone from using and that is the person herself. Even rehab can't do squat for an unwilling user. It has to come 100% from her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654261, member: 1550"] WearyMom, your daughter is obviously deep in Deep Heaven. Does she make sense? No. Does it work for her? YES! Whatever she has said, you have felt sorry for her for so she has gotten her means to her end, often probably money she asked for saying she is starving. The money probably helped her buy drugs. We are fools. Not you. We. All of us. At least at first. It takes some longer than others to catch on that NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING we do, nor our hurting hearts, will help our adult child one wit. COM has often said if we care more than THEY do, it is hopeless. You care more than her. Right now, it is hopeless. Jail may actually make her stop the drug use, at least while she is locked up. How is that bad? My guess is she got mushy with you because she either knows she will go to jail after she is caught or she thinks she will be able to run to beat the system forever. Neither will happen. Do not think of her as that adorable little baby you gave birth to who cooed at you. Don't think of her as the ten year old who picked you dandelions because she loves you. I had trouble seperating my child from the adult. Drugs are ugly. You can not help. When it comes to addiction, there is only one person in the world who can stop anyone from using and that is the person herself. Even rehab can't do squat for an unwilling user. It has to come 100% from her. [/QUOTE]
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Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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