I always DVR Dr. Phil. I don't always like what he has to say to parents of difficult children, but often he's got them and their difficult children pegged. I somewhat sympathized with the parents because when you are in the middle of all the difficult child turmoil, it's hard to see beyond the tornado they bring into our homes. On the other hand, I was like "Wha??" when the parents claimed that difficult child just suddenly turned from sweet little compliant girl to a demon terror at 15 1/2. Is that possible? Of course. Probable? Absolutely not. Perhaps that is when the drug use started?
Their difficult child also presents a well-behaved, controlled veneer to the outside world. If I remember correctly, she has a job, does well in school, and is extremely bright (as so many of our difficult children are). What I marveled at was her ability to coolly articulate what she believed the problems to be (her parents) at home and her accusations hurled at her mom, "What have you done???" Then, losing her composure completely when she realized the jig is up. I think the situation is going to changed profoundly when mom can not longer be manipulated. This is a child that has been running the show a long time.
As one that has gotten into battles over cellphones, I felt a degree of sympathy with Mom. When my difficult children refused to hand over their phones, I simply contacted the carrier and had service suspended. Done. Daughter went for nearly a year without one. I try not to condemn too harshly because I know how complicated and exhausting these situations can be. I'm curious to know how she does at the wilderness camp.
