Drama continues

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by okie girl, May 5, 2015.

  1. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    I have not had any more contact with my Difficult Child, probably because I have blocked his number. He is totally out of control. I got a message from one of his girlfriends and she said she was letting him stay with her. She said she was trying to help him. She said he stole the wedding rings her mother had willed to her and she had recovered one of the rings from the local pawn shop. He then went to see another girl in an

    other town. (I have found this out from other people telling me). I just got a call from my sister telling me he is at my dad's house. He told dad he just wanted to wash some clothes and he had an interview for a job tomorrow (which I don't believe). My dad is 86 years old. I was in a pretty good place. I wasn't obsessing and I had just resigned myself to completely detach. After talking with my sister, I'm a basket case again. Dad told my sister he could stay tonight but he had to leave tomorrow. I have done a complete circle and feel like I am back to square one. I am afraid he will end up back at my door and my husband said he can't stay here. Need some advise and support please.
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Okiegirl, stay strong. He is out of control and there is nothing that you can do about it. He is 46 years old. I agree with your husband.


    Last edited: May 6, 2015
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Okie, at 46 he has totally got to do it himself. It is getting late in the game. Soon he'll be 50. Some people never row up or straighten out. You need to take care of yourself. Your son is way too old for you to spend you days worrying about him and destroying your chance to have a nice retirement. Let go, let go, leg go. Visit Al-Anon for support. You're too old for this worrying over a middle age man. And by no means is he ANYTHING but middle age. He may never change at his age, but YOU can and YOU can enjoy the rest of your life and I believe you deserve to :)
  4. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    Thanks Kathy...I feel a little better today.
  5. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    Thank you Somewhere..I have my good days and bad days. I'm really trying to detach and let go.
  6. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Hi Okie. Even though he's 46 he's still your son, your baby boy. So I get how hard it must be for you. But according to your story he really is in a selfish, bad place and he will take everyone down with him. It's so hard to see them like this but letting go is all you can do until he wants to change. I'm so sorry for your situation! Your family needs to stick with you, including your dad. He will probably steal from him too. I hope and pray he has a true change of heart!
  7. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    Thank you LMS...it is so hard but I have backed off and trying to detach. He needs to take responsibility for his self. I am so used to "helping and taking care" of things for him. I'm taking one day at a time.
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  8. rc606

    rc606 Member

    Okiegirl...while my Difficult Child is a minor for a few more months, so I'm no expert in your situation. I hope that he get's it together soon because as others have said "it's getting late in the game" for him. Thoughts and prayers coming your way :)
  9. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    RC606.....I am not an expert either. I have been dealing with Difficult Child for years. I have tried everything I can think of but nothing changes. I am trying to change my behavior toward Difficult Child. That is the only thing I haven't tried. Thank you for your prayers. I need them.