Posted in 2012 but am back again this week. 20 year old son has been on a binge for two weeks. This has been ongoing for almost five years on and off. Diagnosed with anxiety and depression but can stay sober for several months then goes off the deep seemingly when he gets a job/money which for my husband a job is the fix for everything. But I get it. Long story short, he graduated high school by the skin of his teeth at an alternative school because he got kicked out of high school sophomore year for selling pot (small amount in bathroom). Due to anxiety he would not talk so they saw him as uncooperative and he was kicked out sophomore year. He later told me he was terrified and that is why he did not talk and I believe him. He has been doing nothing much for 2 years since he graduated. Few friends. Was in detox in July for abusing benzos. They recommended in patient rehab but he did not want to go (has been twice - once at 15 and once at 17 for weed, etc.). He went to their outpatient program but did not complete it successfully. Did not take it seriously. Has been on Efexxor ever since and says it helps. He signed up for a few classes at the local college and the night I took him to do so he was drunk. I don't know why I just didn't go home but kept pressing forward. Just want to be "normal" family. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and has been on binge when school is to start. OMG seriously? He is getting A's in both classes though which is hard to believe. After reading posts here and getting strength from you ladies (thank you) last night we gave him a "contract" on the rules of the house or else he has to leave. No drugs, no being high etc. He was high but did sign it. Again probably a joke to him. I was livid. Why do I let it get me angry? So bad for my health. This morning he was up at 5am so I told him I'd take him to Gateway (inpatient rehab). He didn't comment. He then texted me asking if he could go to detox again (OMG we are still paying last bill) because he has been taking Vicoden. OMG seriously?? He said he got them from some kid that broke his leg; gave him whole prescription. Who knows. We had decided we weren't going to pay for rehab again but we are at our wits end and want him out of the house. Then think sober living. Want to get our money back for the classes I think. He insists he is finishing but I told him he chose the drugs over school but I hate saying that!!! He then asked if he could just go to the hospital and "get evaluated" and he'd walk home so I took him. I told him I don't think he needs detox and should just go to in patient rehab but he said he wants to see what they say. He thinks he's staying there a few days and coming home but he'll just keep this vicious cycle going. I'd gladly spend the money if it HELPS but I feel he thinks this is some type of game. When I dropped him off I watched to see if he went in and he did not so I turned around and asked him what he was doing. He was going to smoke a cigarette butt he found on the ground first. That is so disgusting. What if that person has some disease? He is a total germaphobe normally. I'm trying to "take care of myself". My husband and I just held each other in bed before we got up today. He is very angry and want this to be over and just not one to show his emotions. Just drained. Not sure what the right thing to do is. If anyone has any insight I'd love to hear it. I shortened our story dramatically naturally but you guys get it.